Mike Benedetti's Fairy Tale, June 1995:

Melchior

The prince looked at her and said, "Yes, she is quite a beauty, but she's a bit tall." And so the prince cut two inches off the bottoms of her feet.

And the prince looked at her and said, "Better, but a little too short." So he nailed one inch wooden blocks to the bottoms of her feet. And she was just right.

Again, the prince looked at her and said, "The shoulders are a bit too wide." And so he cut off her arms. The prince was pleased, but he desired a bride with arms, so he took her to a blacksmith and had him join two pokers to her shoulders.

"Excellent," judged the prince, "but her hair should be trimmed." And so he cut off her head. "But now she has to lips to kiss, no eyes to treasure," he mourned. And so he had the head of a pig sewn on her neck.

"Perfect," said the prince. But by now, she was dead.

Maria's father got word of what had happened to her, and was struck blind in his rage. He called his three sons to him and said, "The prince has killed your sister. You must take revenge for this."

Luca, the oldest son, set out for the castle with a scythe in one hand and a skin of water in the other.

"My lord," he said to the prince, "I bring you a skin of our finest wine." As the prince sampled the water, Luca lopped off his head. The prince's guards fell upon Luca and cut him to pieces.

When the king heard of his son's death, he was deeply saddened. He sent his men to the home of Maria's father, where they killed everyone but the youngest brother, Melchior, who was passed out drunk in the fields.

When Melchior awoke and returned home he was horrified to find that his home had been burned and his family had been slaughtered. He fled to the woods and hid in a tree.

When he awoke the next morning, he was stiff all over, and took a walk to stretch his legs. He knelt by a stream to take a drink, and a fish said to him, "Melchior, the king killed your brother Luca."

"I know," said Melchior, "I know."

"Melchior," a bird said, "the king butchered your second brother, Phillip."

"I know," said Melchior, "I know."

"Melchior," a wasp said, "the king murdered your father and burned your farm."

"I know," said Melchior.

"Melchior," said a badger, "the king permitted the mutilation of your sister."

"Look," said Melchior, "if you animals are so concerned about the injustice done my family, why don't you do something about it?"

"We are of the forest and you are of the farm," they said. "Your affairs are no concern of ours."

Melchior was shamed by the animals' litany of death, and so he set out for the castle.

"I must speak to the king," Melchior told the guards at the castle gate.

"And who are you?" they asked him.

"I am Melchior, brother of Luca and Maria, murdered by his majesty."

"We shall have to consult him," they said. When they returned, they bound his hands and feet and took him to the banquet hall, where a feast had been prepared.

"Ah, he has arrived," said the king. "First we eat this glorious feast, and then I have my dessert."

The guards tied Melchior to a pillar.

Things looked grim for Melchior, but he was not concerned. He had disguised himself as a cook and had poisoned the wine for the banquet. Once the king and his guests had died, he came into the banquet hall and released himself.

Melchior helped himself to as much of the king's gold as he could carry. He travelled to a far land, where he was rich and happy till the end of his days.