10-20-2000 (10:00am):
I'm finished with the Alley Assassin 2000 web site. The target sign-up sheet will be posted in the Lounge at 5:00pm, and I await the slaughter. I mean, fun.
10-23-2000 (5:00pm):
The festivities begin tonight at midnight. I've posted the targets list online – make sure you check it out before this evening, so that you can make sure one of your... "friends"... didn't sign you up against your will. Barring any extenuating circumstances, you may begin assassinating after the clock strikes midnight.
10-24-2000 (1:40am):
As luck would have it (or maybe he's just dumb), Glenn Jones once again falls quickly, becoming the game's first assassinated target. Check it out in tales of the dead. I think the moral here is obvious: just because the game only started an hour ago doesn't mean you should feel safe. Quite the contrary.
Munth (0):
+20 (kill)
+5 (first blood)Chester (0):
-15 (death of target)
10-24-2000 (~6:00am):
Krista Ehinger has a psychic premonition telling her to investigate Fred's Marks Apartment. Amazingly enough, she discovers that Teo Beloreshka has placed a bomb in wait for the R.A. to return. In an act of altruism, Krista defuses the bomb.
Tunnel (0):
+5 (defused bomb)
Vatican (0):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-24-2000 (~9:00am):
Fred Romberg narrowly escapes execution at the hands of the silent but deadly Krista Ehinger. Fred's instinctive paranoia kicked in just in time, as he carefully opened his door to find a lethal tripwire/alarm device that would have been the end of him. He deftly snipped the wire, averting disaster.
Womb (0):
+5 (defused bomb)
Tunnel (5):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-24-2000 (12:45pm):
Randall White, an at-large target obviously oblivious to the machinations of his own alley, falls to the Hell Assassination Juggernaut. Brian Bairstow and his alley (sans the now deceased Randy) score their first kill, catapulting Hell into the race for bloodshed and mayhem.
Hell (0):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Brian Bairstow
Randy (0):
-15 (he's dead)NOTE: Since Randy was an at-large target, Hell does not lose points for his death. Sneaky bastards.
10-24-2000 (1:00pm):
Elliott Karpilovsky dies in an incredible display of ... well ... Push Pin Magic by Nathan Sheetz. After seven (count them: seven) attempts by Adam Bongarzone (Elliott's roommate) and then Elliott himself to check the door for bombs (shaking it vigorously and what-not), nothing happened. Then Elliott, thinking himself safe, opened the door and a box of push pins fell from behind, killing him instantly.
Hell (20):
+20 (kill)
+2 (miracle push pins...gotta get me some of those)
1 kill for Nathan Sheetz
Tunnel (0):
-15 (death of target)
10-24-2000 (1:05pm):
Jeff Blackburne was saved by Hell's watchful guardians, as Brian Bairstow attempted unsuccessfully to turn Jeff's combo lock. Instead of turning appropriately, the lock started beeping at him. Then Brian exclaimed, "Oh! A bomb." Score Hell one Mercury Switch for their own nefarious purposes.
Hell (42):
+5 (defused bomb)
Heaven (0):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-24-2000 (2:50pm):
Teo Beloreshka continued her crusade for Fred's blood as she attempted to nail him with a Nail Bomb. While she was still setting up, however, Fred (along with Vikki) came by and spoiled the fun.
Chester (-15):
+5 (defused bomb)
Vatican (-5):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-24-2000 (~7:00pm):
Mike D's competitive nature proves to be his undoing, as his attempt at breaking the Croissant record failed and brought instant death. Christian and Dan took the opportunity to place a Mercury Switch bomb at his place. So he's dead.
Cannes (0):
+10 (kill)
Chester (-10):
+10 (kill)
0.5 kill for Dan Fabrycky
0.5 kill for Christian ThomasHell (47):
-15 (death of target)
-2 (excessive competiveness)
10-24-2000 (5:00pm):
Nick Knouf, utterly oblivious to the fact that he was a target, loses his life at the hands of the diabolical Tory Sturgeon. The moral here is that if an alley picks someone for their target, they should make sure that person knows, and then becomes appropriately paranoid.
Vatican (-10):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Tory Sturgeon
Chester (0):
-15 (death of target)
- 5 (should have told target that his life was at risk)
10-24-2000 (~7:30pm):
Adam Bongarzone attempted to deliver death unto Robin Friedman while at Dress Dinner, but his attempt failed when Robin rose to make an announcement but remained oblivious to the cannister full of pennies falling from his chair. Adam quickly recovered his make-shift bomb and left before anyone noticed anything. Lame, but at least he got his pennies back.
Tunnel (-15):
-2 (lame bomb recovered)
Swamp (0):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
10-24-2000 (~8:00pm):
Sean Szeja's life ends at the end of a desperate Change Bomb gambit by bombadero Jimmy Worcester. Rack one up for Off-Campus.
Misc. Off-Campus (0):
+20 (kill)
-2 (ad-hoc)
+2 (i like saying 'gambit')
1 kill for Jimmy Worcester
Heaven (-5):
-15 (death of target)
10-24-2000 (8:15pm):
Kirsten Welge's 20 hours of consistent and constant paranoia proved for nought when she was brought down by Sam Lindsey-Levine in a classy Bubble Bomb attached to her chair. Fox one.
Sam L-L (0):
+20 (kill)
+2 (style)
1 kill for Sam Lindsey-Levine
Cannes (0):
-15 (death of target)
-2 (insufficient paranoia... that's right.)
10-24-2000 (~10:00pm):
Dave Tytell bites the bullet when he attempts to greet two frosh in the PC Lab and is instead greeted by instant death. Yet another Soda Can Bomb (this time some Dew).
Hell (30):
+20 (kill)
0.5 kills for Brian Bairstow
0.5 kills for Jeff Blackburne
Dave Tytell (0):
-15 (death of target)
-100 (asking to be a target, then dying horribly)
10-24-2000 (11:15pm):
Afie Abidi dies a singularly Soda Can death from the Caffiene-Crazy Assassins Brian Bairstow and Mike Davenport. Rack another kill up for Hell.
Hell (50):
+20 (kill)
0.5 kills for Brian Bairstow
0.5 kills for Mike Davenport
Heaven (-20):
-15 (death of target)
10-24-2000 (11:50pm):
Lucky for Tory Sturgeon, el presidente Todd Schuman is on the lookout for her at all times. Deftly running into her room to look for his homework, he prematurely triggers an A&W Bomb left above the door by Jeremy Tollefson, killing himself instantly but leaving Tory very much alive.
Vatican (10):
+5 (defused bomb)
Tunnel (-17):
-5 (bomb discovered)
+2 (more powerful than an A bomb... an A&W bomb!)
10-25-2000 (12:30am):
Fred Romberg frags the Eastern European spy Teo Beloreshka with her own bomb, showing that spying doesn't pay. Also, Teo should have been paying more attention while she stood six inches away from the bomb as it was placed.
Womb (5):
+20 (kill)
1.0 kills for Fred RombergVatican (15):
-15 (death of target)
10-25-2000 (6:40am):
Krista Ehinger, in an uncharacteristic burst of altruism, removes the Electronic Tape Bomb from Ayeh's door. The bomb, laid by Jason Raycroft, detonates but the target still sleeps within. She then continues on looking for people to bomb.
Tunnel (-20):
+5 (defused bomb)Cannes (10):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-25-2000 (7:40am):
Apparently, Krista does find someone to bomb. Fred. A groggy-morning Fred opened up his car door to find three pennies go flying. A kill, but very lame.
Tunnel (-15):
+20 (kill)
-100,000,000,000 (i HATE pennies)
1 kill for Krista Ehinger
Womb (5):
-15 (death of target)
10-25-2000 (8:00am):
A bomb left for Ben Granett is defused by his roommate, Nicholas Piro. The bomb, laid by Jason Raycroft, was taped to the bottom of the door and was only narrowly escaped.
Kremlin (0):
+5 (defused bomb)
Cannes (5):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-25-2000 (~8:00am):
Nathan Sheetz' attempt at bombing harmless Stephen Thrasher fails as Joe Fassler, ever watchful, skillfully disarms the bomb for Stephen. Joe writes:
This morning at about 8:00 I diffused a bomb left for Stephen by Nathan Sheetz...
Also, the little t looks really good.Pub (0):
+5 (defused bomb)
+10 (flattery will get you everywhere)
Hell (70):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-25-2000 (9:00am):
The Dread Pirate Jeff Blackburne has been keelhauled, via the masterwork of Will Heltsley of Cannes. 'Twas a mutiny, arr.
Cannes (0):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Will Heltsley
Hell (65):
-15 (death of target)
10-25-2000 (10:30am):
Yussanne Ma detonates a lame bomb, planted by Brian Bairstow, consisting of a binder placed against the back of her chair in math lecture.
Upper P (0):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
Hell (50):
-2 (lame bomb)
10-25-2000 (1:30pm):
Jason Raycroft is just not paranoid enough. Never trust a member of another alley to open a potentially-bombed door for you. Adam Bongarzone used a combination whiteboard / Soda can bomb to kill Jason, although his involvement in the incident as goader marks this a suicide bomb.
Tunnel (-99,999,999,995):
+20 (kill)
+2 (no guts, no glory)
1 kill for Adam Bongarzone
Cannes (20):
-15 (death of target)
10-25-2000 (5:30pm):
Tory Sturgeon deftly assassinated Stephen Thrasher when he mistakenly remarked that he was going to take a shower after working on his problem set in Todd's room.
Vatican (0):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Tory Sturgeon
Kremlin (5):
-15 (death of target)
10-25-2000 (6:30pm):
Laura Chasman and Jeff Fonck eliminated the Ruddock threat at dinner with Ruddock, in the sly assassination of Sam Lindsey-Levine. His untimely death leaves only two at-large targets remaining.
Munth (25):
+10 (kill)
Merc (0):
+10 (kill)
0.5 kill for Laura Chasman
0.5 kill for Jeff Fonck
Sam LL (20):
-15 (death of target)
10-25-2000 (8:00pm):
Rebecca Flint defuses a bomb laid for Yussanne Ma by Brian Bairstow and Mike Davenport.
Upper P (-5):
+5 (defused bomb)
Hell (48):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-25/26-2000 (late, afternoon):
Christina Telles is killed by a bomb laid by Dan Fabrycky, after Clayton defuses a bomb left by Sarah Warren, before Christina makes the gargantuan mistake of trying to clean her room without sweeping it for devices. Strike one for Munth. See tales of the dead for more information.
Chester (-20):
+20 (kill)
+2 (acrobatic manuevers)
0.5 kill for Dan Fabrycky
0.5 kill for Clayton Featherstone
Chester (2):
+5 (defused Sarah's bomb)Munth (35):
-15 (death of target)Tunnel (-99,999,999,973):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-25-2000 (11:45pm):
Clayton Featherstone, noting Sean Szeja's stranger-than-normal behavior while doing a problem set over at Chester with Grace Wildanger, got up to see what the heck Sean is doing. He found (suprisingly) that Sean's mumblings were over a bomb for Grace. Safely defused, Clayton returned to his problem set.
Chester (7):
+5 (defused bomb)Heaven (-35):
-5 (being ridiculous)
10-26-2000 (1:30am):
Todd Schuman, ever-vigilant, disarms a Coke-Door Bomb laid for Tory Sturgeon by that skillful assassin of Hell, Brian Bairstow. Silly frosh.
Vatican (20):
+5 (defused bomb)Hell (43):
-5 (yet another coke can bomb... discovered)
10-26-2000 (2:00am):
Yussanne Ma, victim of her own stuffed animals, dies at the hands of Cannes assassins Kirsten Welge and Will Heltsley. Tragically, the Coke can tied to her teddy bear sounded her demise long before she could get the teddy into a comforting hug.
Cannes (5):
+20 (kill)
+2 (using one's cuddly toys against them)
0.5 kill for Kirsten Welge
0.5 kill for Will HeltsleyUpper P (0):
-15 (death of target)
10-25-2000 (6:00am):
Despite the valiant acrobatical skill displayed by Will Heltsley and Jason Raycroft (along with some B&E skills), the Triple woke up and defused their bomb attempt before the explosive laid for Jian-Yuan Thum could detonate.
Upper P (-15):
+5 (defused bomb)
Cannes (27):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-26-2000 (12:20pm):
Teodora Beloreshka aptly defuses a bomb set for Ayeh Bandeh-Ahmadi disguised as her scarf. Well, actually, it was in her scarf, to be exact. The perpetrator, Jeff Blackburne, chalks up another failed assassination for Hell. Tough luck.
Vatican (25):
+5 (defused bomb)Hell (38):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-26-2000 (~1:00pm):
Sarah Hendrickson ventures to Munth to get a copy of the "little t" from Jared. While there, she sees a CD labeled Jeff Fonck in the hallway. Musing to herself, "That's probably a bomb..." she decides to play it in the nearby stereo. Sure enough, an echoing boom resounds and Sam Lindsey-Levine's voice is heard, proclaiming instant death. Too bad the intended target didn't get to it in time.
Hell (33):
+5 (defused bomb)Sam LL (5):
-5 (mistakenly thinking people aren't paranoid enough)
10-26-2000 (9:30pm):
Merc Chasman racks in a kill by eliminating Fonck in a battle of wits. The device, laid in her Ma108 notebook, apparently originated from a cereal box. "Does this make me a cereal killer?" she asks. Whoops. Should have thought a little harder before making bad puns in front of the Judicat0r.
Merc (10):
+20 (kill)
-5 (bad pun)
1.0 kill for Merc ChasmanMunth (20):
-15 (death by analysis... how humiliating.)
Notice:
The Judicat0r, in his infinite mercy, has decided that he was a little rough on Tunnel, due to his serious emotional scars left from previous Alley Assassin deaths. Tunnel has therefore received a handicap of 100 billion points. That is all.
10-26-2000 (10:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Mark Barrett
Assassin(s): Yussanne Ma, Greg West
What happened:
Yussanne placed a sophisticated light-activated bomb for Mark in his room, but Joe Fassler sets it off (and, along with everyone else, fails to notice it) thus saving Mark's life. However, then everyone leaves Mark's room, but the door remains open, giving Greg an opportunity for wreaking havoc with his Door-Change Bomb. Mark and Afie return, realize the door has been left open and frantically search for bombs. Finding nothing, Afie leaves and Mark shuts the door, dying instantly.
Point Changes:
Upper P (-10):
+20 (kill by Greg)
-0 (no points deducted for pennies)
-5 (begging for mercy from the Judicat0r over point deductions on style)
-2 (lame bomb by Yussanne)
+4 (stylish light-activation)
1.0 kill for Greg WestPub (15):
-15 (death of target)
-5 (insufficient paranoia ... or at least ineffective paranoia)
10-27-2000 (5:30am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Ayeh Bandeh-Ahmadi
Assassin(s): Mike Davenport
What happened:
"Early this morning, ~5:30, I opened my door (after checking under the pink boa and under the door), to see a string hanging from the top of it, which I realized was attached to a bomb (sprite can attached to some clinky metal)... I opened my door a little more and grabbed it... after searching for a sign of who had planted the bomb, I finally found a note under my door that said "oops, did I plant that? to: ayeh from: mike."
Point Changes:
Pub (15):
+5 (defused bomb)Hell (38):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-27-2000 (10:00pm):
Event: Double Kill (homicide + suicide)
Target: Minta Akin
Assassin(s): Clayton Featherstone
What happened:
Minta's lack of paranoia and waiterly impatience with disturbance were no match for Clayton's Wide Brimmed Hat Bomb, which, in addition to providing wacky antics, killed her instantly.
Point Changes:
Chester (12):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Clayton FeatherstoneOff-Campus (0):
-15 (death of target)
10-27-2000 (10:00pm):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Laura "Merc" Chasman
Assassin(s): Sam Lindsey-Levine
What happened:
"Sam taped a rather obvious bomb to the top of my door. When the bomb was removed by a friendly neighbor Flem, confetti spilled down and made a mess, but harmed no one."
Point Changes:
Merc (25):
+0 (fellow Flem defused bomb)Sam L-L (0):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-27-2000 (11:00pm):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Laura "Merc" Chasman
Assassin(s): Mike Davenport
What happened:
"Mike D. left a curled side of a coke can and a note reading '00 00, please tell me we beat Christa' and 'to: Merc from: Mike D'. Again, the bomb was harmlessly diffused when non-Merc flems opened the door. "
Point Changes:
Merc (25):
+0 (fellow Flem defused bomb)Hell (33):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-29-2000 (12:00am):
Event: Kill
Target: Robin Friedman
Assassin(s): Sarah Hendrickson, Jeff Blackburne
What happened:
Jeff deviously placed a Car Light Switcheroo Bomb in Robin's car (keys provided by his parking buddy, Sarah), such that when Robin opened the door, an annoying speaker buzzed at him instead of a light turning on. Scratch one Swamp target.
Point Changes:
Hell (28):
+20 (kill)
0.5 kill for Jeff Blackburne
0.5 kill for Sarah HendricksonSwamp (-5):
-15 (death of target)
10-29-2000 (2:00am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Tory Sturgeon
Assassin(s): Yussanne Ma, Jeff Blackburne
What happened:
"I got back from the party and found a message from Teo on my whiteboard saying to be careful in my room (and also I knew my room had been entered while I was gone from the piece of duct tape on my door that I keep as an entry detector sorta thing.), so I had Todd check stuff for me. We found new little glow-in-the-dark stars by my pillow, so I asked Todd to turn off the lights and read out what they spelled (turned out to be "boom", with a little note hidden behind the bed reading something like "To Tory from Yussanne and Jeff"). (They'd apparently climbed into Vatican hyperspace, we're guessing through the game room, and somehow managed to get into my room, which is incredibly difficult.) They'd intended for me to turn the lights off when I went to bed and then find the message--I'd "set it off" it by turning off the lights and making it visible."
Point Changes:
Vatican (30):
+5 (defused bomb)Hell (48):
-2.5 (bomb discovered)
+5 (houdini-like skillz)
Upper P (7):
-2.5 (bomb discovered)
+5 (style)
10-29-2000 (4:00am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Ayeh Bandeh-Ahmadi
Assassin(s): Yussanne Ma, Rebecca Flint
What happened:
Yussanne and Rebecca left a little surprise for Ayeh in her medicine cabinet, consisting of a Buzzer Bomb connected to the cabinet door with a string. Lucky for her, Ayeh had a non-Mole friend defuse the bomb.
Point Changes:
Pub (-5):
+0 (non-Mole defused bomb)Upper P (9.5):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-29-2000 (4:00am):
Event: Kill
Target: Ayeh Bandeh-Ahmadi
Assassin(s): Jian-Yuan Thum, Rebecca Flint
What happened:
The Glow-in-the-Dark Bomb (stars arranged above Ayeh's bed that say "boom!") takes the life of Ayeh, when despite efforts by her non-Mole friend to find and defuse bombs, the stars remain unnoticed until Ayeh turns off the lights and goes to bed, only to see the star-bomb moments too late.
To understand why this is a kill, consider a thought experiment I like to call Schroedinger's Alley Assassin Target. Before Ayeh turns off the light and gets into bed, the Ayeh-bomb system exists in a superposition of two possible outcomes – "dead Ayeh, successful bomb" and "alive Ayeh, defused bomb". Note that until the system is observed (meaning until Ayeh realizes the bomb exists), we don't know whether Ayeh is alive or dead. Once Ayeh finds the bomb, she collapses the system into its post-measurement outcome, in this case "dead Ayeh, successful bomb" since her observation involved the bomb's detonation, not its defusion.
Point Changes:
Upper P (4.5):
+20 (kill)
0.5 kill for Jian-Yuan Thum
0.5 kill for Rebecca FlintPub (-5):
-15 (death of target)
10-30-2000 (11:00pm):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Jesse Pino
Assassin(s): Brian Bairstow
What happened:
Utilizing a less-than-reliable Under-the-Bike-Seat Penny Bomb, Brian Bairstow attempts to murder Jesse. However, most of the pennies fall before Jesse gets to the bike. When he then searches for the note, the last penny falls. Pretty lame, if you ask me.
Point Changes:
Avery (0):
-2 (insufficient paranoia... shoulda' watched out for that last penny!)Hell (50.5):
-5 (very lame bomb)
10-31-2000 (7:30am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Jesse Pino
Assassin(s): Serina Diniega
What happened:
Once again, Jesse narrowly escapes certain doom when, after crashing at Michigan, a bomb laid for him is set off prematurely when Minta Akin opens the door. Serina's sleigh bells of destruction fail.
Point Changes:
Off-Campus (-15):
+5 (defused bomb)Serina (0):
-5 (bomb discovered)
10-31-2000 (2:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Steve Mueller
Assassin(s): Merc Chasman
What happened:
Steve, unbeknowest to him but beknowest to his assassin Merc, discovers a Jingly Bell Bomb in wait for him when he opens his mail. Yet another open-and-shut case of alleys not telling their targets about the fact that they are targets.
Point Changes:
Merc (25):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Merc ChasmanSwamp (-20):
-15 (death of target)
-5 (you know, it's a good idea to tell people their life may be in danger)
Notice:
At the stroke of midnight, the Judicat0r, in his infinite generosity, grants Fred Romberg a 1-up. Beginning tonight, Fred is designated the second Womb target, due to delays in his acquisition of a canine companion.
11-01-2000 (12:30am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Fred Romberg (2nd life)
Assassin(s): Teo Beloreshka (who else?)
What happened:
Teo attempts to murder our new R.A. for the third time, but this time Fred has a little trick up his sleeve – Austrian bodyguards! They find the Snake Bouncy Ball Bomb Teo had left for Fred on his door, thus averting true calamity.
Point Changes:
Womb (-10):
+0 (Austrian bodyguards defused bomb)Vatican (30):
-5 (bomb discovered)
11-01-2000 (8:00am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Maki Hattori
Assassin(s): Greg West
What happened:
"After failing my Phys 12 midterm at some hour of morning/evening i got up, wandered the halls of Avery, and returned to my room to make corrections/additions/fixing secretarial problems to my Ay midterm. Upon finishing part of a problem i noticed a noise that sounded like a really lame fire alarm, wondering i stepped out to find a mercury switch on our "Ez-doorOpener" (wooden block) labeled "To: Miki From: Greg." Firstly I'd like to commend the frosh's effort for finding my room and managing to get my name wrong even with the helpful name tag on my door."
Point Changes:
Avery (-12.667):
+5 (defused bomb)Vatican (30):
-5 (bomb discovered)
11-01-2000 (10:00am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Fred Romberg (2nd life)
Assassin(s): Teo Beloreshka
What happened:
"This morning around 10AM, my bodyguards failed to locate several Coke cans tied to the undercarriage of my truck by Teo. Well, after driving a few blocks with the radio volume fairly high and noting a some funny looks and pointing from other drivers, I pulled over to find them myself. The Austrians will be executed and there body parts send to the four corners of the Caltech empire as a warning to all that might protect me in the future."
Point Changes:
Womb (-10):
-5 (ignorance of explosions is not an excuse)Vatican (25):
-2 (lame bomb...)
+5 (...but very stylish)
11-01-2000 (1:00pm):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Sarah Warren
Assassin(s): Dan Fabrycky and Clayton Featherstone
What happened:
Luigi defuses a bomb laid for Sarah by Dan and Clayton. A pretty clear-cut case.
Point Changes:
Tunnel (22):
+2 (defused bomb)Chester (32):
-5 (bomb discovered)
11-01-2000 (1:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Sarah Warren
Assassin(s): Nate Sheetz
What happened:
Sheetz kills Sarah Warren via a Laundry Bomb. Shouldn't have thought apathy would save you.
Point Changes:
Hell (45.5):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Nathan SheetzTunnel (24):
-15 (death of target)
11-01-2000 (6:30pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Tory Sturgeon
Assassin(s): Colin Rundel, Jeff Fonck and Merc Chasman
What happened:
Colin places a deft knife-wrapped napkin (that is so bass-ackwards) on Tory's chair, which, of course, kills her instantly. Jeff and Merc weasel their way in on the points by threatening Colin with disarming it, but the Judicat0r knows all and will not award actual kills to either.
Point Changes:
Avery (-4):
+6.333 (kill)
1 kill for Colin Rundel
Munth (5):
+6.333 (kill)
Merc (45):
+6.333 (kill)Vatican (28):
-15 (death of target. how could you let her die, Todd?)
11-01-2000 (7:30pm):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Jesse Pino
Assassin(s): Todd Schuman
What happened:
"Last night, after dinner, I went into the bathroom by the coke machine. When I came out, I noticed a little circuit thingie on the floor, so I picked it up and set it off, thus (to my knowledge) defusing the bomb. Todd heard the sound, came by and said "You are soo dead.", to which I replied, "No, I defused it- it fell without going off." Upon further inspection, I found that the 'bomb' had no writing on it indicating that i was its target or that todd was the setter. But he admitted that it was his, and was intended for me."
Point Changes:
Avery (-2):
-2 (targets shouldn't pick up strange, electronic objects)Vatican (13):
-5 (uberlam-ness)
11-02-2000 (7:30am):
Event: Kill
Target: Jesse Pino
Assassin(s): Serina Diniega
What happened:
This time, the killer sleigh bells do their job, killing Jesse instantly. The forecast tomorrow... cold showers... and a chance of doom!
Point Changes:
Serina (-5):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Serina DiniegaAvery (2.333):
-15 (death of target)
11-04-2000 (2:00am):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Grace Wildanger
Assassin(s): Kirsten Welge, Andrea Smith
What happened:
Molly Swanson, always on the lookout for her fellow Mole, helps Grace out by picking up a shirt she had left with Kirsten and Andrea. Sure enough, it jingled suspiciously and Molly removed it without harm.
Point Changes:
Vatican (+8):
+5 (defused bomb)Cannes (22):
-5 (bomb discovered)
Notice of backlogged assassination attempt:
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Steve Mueller
Assassin(s): Ben Granett
What happened:
I would have reported this earlier, but I didn't have information on the would-be assassin. A simple case of broken bomb attached to door, retrieved by third party. This is a lame bomb, since it failed to detonate even when taken by Krista off the door.
Point Changes:
Swamp (-20):
-5 (lack of paranoia)Kremlin (10):
-2 (lame bomb)
11-04-2000 (11:20am):
Event: Kill
Target: Laura "Merc" Chasman
Assassin(s): Krista Ehinger
What happened:
Merc dies when she, partly due to lack of sleep and partly due to lack of good ol' fashioned common sense, opens her door herself to find a Contact Buzzer Bomb wedged in her door.
Point Changes:
Tunnel (9):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Krista EhingerMerc (51.333):
-15 (death of target)
11-06-2000 (6:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Fred Romberg (2nd life)
Assassin(s): Teo (who else?)
What happened:
Though Fred fought the good fight, Teo triumphed in the end through sheer perserverence. Was it worth it? You be the judge.
Point Changes:
Vatican (13):
+20 (kill)
-5 (lame bombs)
-5 (repetitive placement)
+2 (double kill!)
1 kill for Teo BeloreshkaOff-Campus (-10):
-15 (death of target)
11-07-2000 (2:00pm):
Event: Failed assassination attempt
Target: Maki Hattori
Assassin(s): Krista Ehinger, Laura Chasman
What happened:
Jingly pennies in her mouse do not a good bomb make.
Point Changes:
Avery (-7.667):
-5 (lack of paranoia)Tunnel (29):
-1 (lame bomb)
Merc (36.333):
-1 (lame bomb)
11-08-2000 (4:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Maki Hattori
Assassin(s): Krista Ehinger, Laura Chasman
What happened:
While moving, Maki receives a little, gift-wrapped surprise from her friends Krista and Merc - death!
Point Changes:
Tunnel (28):
+10 (kill)
0.5 kill for Krista Ehinger
Merc (35.333):
+10 (lame bomb)
0.5 kill for Laura Chasman
Merc is a Master Assassin!
+40 (mastering the trade)Avery (-12.667):
-15 (death of target)
11-20-2000 (9:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Grace Wildanger
Assassin(s): Dan Fabrycky
What happened:
Dan gives Grace the choice he never had. Knowing that Grace needed to reference a book with a spectrum in it, he bombed all of the available Chemistry and Physics books nearby. Since Chemistry is evil, he placed relatively classless bombs in each of those, consisting of his keys, some coins, etc. Physics, being good, was bombed with classy Mercury switches, etc. Grace chose poorly, and died instantly at the hands of Chemistry.
Point Changes:
Chester (27):
+20 (kill)
1 kill for Dan FabryckyOff-Campus (-10):
-15 (death of target)
11-20-2000 (11:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Master Assassin Laura Chasman (master no more)
Assassin(s): Maki Hattori and Jon Foster
What happened:
Laura realized the cruel price of being a master assassin. You can never trust anyone again.
Point Changes:
Avery (-27.667):
+15 (master kill)
Chester (Maki's new home) (47):
+15 (master kill)
0.5 kill for Maki Hattori
0.5 kill for Jon FosterMerc (85.333):
-15 (death of target)
11-20-2000 (11:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Jian-Yuan Thum
Assassin(s): Adam Bongarzone and Kirsten Welge
What happened:
Poor Jian-Yuan fails to keep her paranoia up to par, and falls victim to the oldest trick in the book - murder.
Point Changes:
Cannes (22):
+10 (kill)
Tunnel (38):
+10 (kill)
0.5 kill for Kirsten Welge
0.5 kill for Adam BongarzoneUpper P (19.5):
-15 (death of target)
11-30-2000 (9:00pm):
Event: Kill
Target: Kjerstin Easton
Assassin(s): Jesse Pino
What happened:
In the final act of Assassins, Jesse gives his own life to the slaughter in a successful suicide bombing against the terror of all terrors, the 2nd-to-last-target Kjerstin. Woe is us all.
Point Changes:
Avery (-12.667):
+20 (kill)
1.0 kill for Jesse PinoKjerstin (0):
-15 (death of target)
+5 (bonus points for long life)
12-01-2000 (5:00pm): Boom. The cannon fires, marking the end of Alley Assassins 2000. Thanks for playing!