[last updated: Thursday, 20-Sep-2007 16:12:17 PDT]

Check out the important rules update!

There are currently 19 deceased Mole targets, leaving 4 alley targets and 6 at large targets alive, but very badly burned.

10L00 p.m. Wednesday Evening (11-8-2006): Ben thought enough to have people check his shoes after finishing up in the gym, but still managed to fall to the same type of bomb Silas used to kill Matt Feldman. Silas writes:
Benjamin Reinhardt
Fire burning in his soul
A little to hot
The moral of the story
Stay away from gunpowder

Like he said, watch where you walk. And one of those airport gunpowder scanners might be useful too.


9:15 p.m. Saturday Afternoon (11-4-2006): Jeff recognized that his hat was the only proper way to satisfy the Alley Ordering scavenger hunt request for a hat. Unfortunately, his teammates weren't his Assassins teammates, and they took this opportunity to kill him. Andy writes:
Jeff, being the only member of Munth present at Alley Ordering, was put on a team with the Hell frosh. When he saw that the dumpster diving list included a hat, he immediately left his cherished vestment with us and went in search of other items. Sadly, he didn't realize that we were complete bastards. We put a compression bomb inside the lining of his hat, which buzzed and beeped loudly when he put it on after his Wagnerian shower.

Considering that Jeff used his car to play the Ride (taking advantage of the fact that we were unwilling to smash the windows to get inside), I'm thinking this was justified.


9:15 p.m. Thursday Night (11-1-2006): Matt played soccer valiantly against the Rudds, but not so well against Chester. Silas writes:
The Real Matt Feldman is dead.
Long live the Real Matt Feldman.

"The Late" Matt Feldman played a Tremendous game. He kept goal against the Rudds, and kept it well. But the Rudds were angry and hired an assassin. Matt tripped up on a bomb during his victory walk out of the stadium. So from now on the "Real Matt" Feldman is a Darb. "The Late" Matt Feldman is survived by a morning room mate. The peoples of Krogsland will be holding a wake tonight from 10:00pm to 8:00am. Coincidentally Lee Feinman was present at the scene. He is adamantly disagreeing with the official police report. He seems to think that the bomb was meant for him. Lee is now in protective custody jumping at his own shadow.

Matt walked into a trip wire, and set of an explosive charge.

Remote-control bombs are awesome.


10:05 p.m. Tuesday Night (10-31-2006): Tom thought he could let his guard down when the IHC came a'knocking, but he underestimated Silas's ruthlessness. Silas writes:
Explosives Are Cool
Tom Mannion Can Testify
A Bomb on the Door
Unintended Casualties
House Presidents are no more.

Now, if he'd plant an explosive device when Tim Chang, Margo Marshack, and Cathy Jurka have a meeting... (Note: Blacker Hovse does not endorse murder. Blacker Hovse has been known to cause cancer and monkey-brains virus in laboratory prefrosh. Consult your doctor before starting a regimen of Blacker Hovse.)


7:20 p.m. Tuesday Night (10-31-2006): Ambi thought she'd be safe walking back to the mods with Michael Smith, but didn't consider that Seth and Nathan might have bombed her backpack during dinner. She writes:
Oh my! The girl you know as Ambie died!
So sad, but true. You see, a bomb was set
And made a noise before the girl could hide.
Now she is gone from us, do not forget.

But what exactly was the bomb, you ask?
Magnetic door alarm inside her pack.
'Cause Borneman and Seth had done the task
Of sneaking in her room when sky was black.

From dinner she picked up her bag for class.
With Michael Smith she walked out of the mods.
The screeching noise destroyed the little lass.
And thus, her fate, determined by the gods.

And now you clearly know how Ambie fell;
Her story is something that you must tell.

Verily, you walk in the valley of the shadow of death, and you had damn well better fear any evil which may lie in your unwatched possessions.


11:30 p.m. Monday Night (10-30-2006): Nathan made the mistake of visiting 150 S. Chester, giving us all the opportunity to read the following poem from Crayola:
Little Nathan, at the Chesters,
Without a friend, he was sequestered,
Knocked down a wrench, it fell with a crash,
And Jimmy and Mitch had the last laugh.

The message is clear: Don't talk to your friends during Alley Assassins.


9:00 p.m. Monday Night (10-30-2006): Mike made the classic Alley Assassins mistake of going to the bathroom, giving Matt and Michael the opportunity to bomb him. Matt writes:
During the early minutes of Mike Vanier's cs11 c-track lecture, he made the unfortunate mistake of stepping out to use the restroom. Matthew Feldman (the real one) and Micheal Kaye used this opportunity to plant the bomb that would lead to his demise. On his return to the classroom, he caused a large metal plate to crash into the floor which exploded, resulting in his death.

It's never too early to invest in a chamber pot.


8:30 p.m. Monday Night (10-30-2006): Sara thought that only musical things could happen in the music practice rooms...but failed to recall that a dirge is also musical. Joe explains further:
Knowing that Sarah Li had to attend practice for her string trio after dinner, I had several minutes to set up a bomb while she went to her room to get her viola. Upon her arrival to the practice room, she saw the violinist and I innocently practicing our parts. Opening the door, however, set off a metronome to produce the note A at precisely 440 Hz, leading to her untimely, but well-tuned demise.

Never let down your guard, and don't open doors.


5:45 p.m. Monday Night (10-30-2006): Mat was suspicious of Jason and Shawn when he met them outside his apartment, but he didn't consider their full range of options... Shawn writes:
So Jason and I thought that we ought to kill Mat before anyone else got to him. We were just going to stick a magnetic triggered bomb to the outside of the door, knock and then run off and wait for him to open it and BOOM (we were hoping he hadn't trained Ollie to open doors).

But as we were wandering over to his mod we bumped into him unexpectedly in the Fleming courtyard. As you may have guessed this is not a very common venue for us and we were about to give up when Jason remembered that Mat usually take Ollie out for a walk right before dinner. Sure enough, 5 minutes later Mat heads out with Ollie. Shortly afterwards, I sneak into Mat's room and set the magnet bomb on the inside, with our note:

Mat

It's a trap (crossed out) bomb !

Jason + Shawn

We dutifully waited back in Blacker till we heard the ear-piercing screech and then went back to collect our bomb. When we got there Mat said that he had been suspicious of us and had checked the outside of the door for bombs, but had not considered that there would be one inside. When he opened the door he wondered why the fire alarm was going off.
Mat's perspective:
Cerundolo and Ligocki. They waited until I left my apartment to walk my dog, then sneaked in. Not sure if they picked the lock or got another RA to let them in with a master key. They installed an alarm on the inside of my door that was triggered when I returned from the walk and opened the door. I'd seen them passing by my place about a half hour before I died, which made me a bit suspicious. But I thought I was safe to walk my dog for 20-minutes -- a fatal mistake.

Remember, folks, if you think they're out to get you, they probably are.

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