[last updated: Thursday, 20-Sep-2007 16:12:17 PDT]

Check out the important rules update!


1:39 a.m. Sunday Morning (11-5-2006): Grum believed himself to be safe, as he himself was a belief, and as Batman Begins taught us, if you become more than just a man, if you become an idea, you cannot be killed. Well, scratch that off of the list of comic-book movie truisms, because Silas has killed Grum anyway. Here's the story:
      Helio Krasinski crept cat like along the ledge, ignoring the 40 meter drop to the pavement below. Just for right now, his mind was not on the pain that filled his heart. His last memories of her had haunted his dreams and every waking moment of his life for the past week. Julia was dead, but none of that mattered now. He had a job to do, a sense of purpose that guided his will.
      Only 20 meters farther. He needed to move faster. Security would soon see through the ruse that he set up earlier. They would be looking for him. Yes, best not to be found here right now. They could take him later once it was finished, once what happened to him no longer mattered. Beads of sweat dripped down his slender face, and careened off his hooked nose and became lost in the mist.
      10 meters to go. He could see lights in the distance. Damn, they must have found Michale, and pieced together the long series of strange events earlier in the day. His only hope now was that Chris had done his job, that the cell phone had been disabled. He moved now with urgency, the dew on the galvanized steel ledge slippery under his feet.
      5 meters to go. The light in the window was still off, there was yet hope, all was not lost. He reached around his back and pulled out the long slender knife. Deftly he slide the knife in between the window panes and silently unlatched the window. The lights were getting much closer, if he didn't get off the ledge soon he would be seen. Throwing caution to the wind Helio threw open the window and tossed his pack inside, and without hesitation he reached up and pulled himself inside. Faint moans could be heard from his backpack. He hoped Mixie wasn't seriously hurt.
      A quick glance about the dim unkempt room assured Helio that his informant had been correct. He was indeed in the right place. He closed and locked the window and then drew the shades. Helio lit a small candle an placed it on the lab bench in the center of the room. His work must be completed in near darkness.
      Diving into his pack he pulled out his tool belt, and the objects he would need to complete his mission. With a screw gun in hand he mounted a small camera above the window he had crawled in, and trained the camera on the door. With his handheld receiver, he verified that the camera was adjusted properly, then he adjusted the transmitter on the camera to point out of the window in the direction of the building across the way. It would be a sin not to record these events.
      Using the screw gun he attached the modified calculator to the sealing by the light fixture, and ran the wires across the ceiling over to the door. He then attached Mixie's box to the wall above the door, and attached the calculator wires to the terminals on the box. Everything was in place, time to get scarce.
      Helio blew out the candle and stuffed his tools in his backpack, and whispered good bye to Mixie. He jumped up on the desk and lifted the ceiling tile out of the way. Carefully lifting himself up he took one last look around the room, a smile creeping over his face. What an odd feeling, He had forgotten what it felt like to smile. He gingerly replaced the ceiling tile and began to crawl along toward where the elevators should be.
      He found the elevator shaft, and cut a hole in the shaft with his torch. Then and he braced himself against the outside of the shaft and pulled his handheld receiver from his pack. Excitement mounted in Helio, 15 minutes passed like seconds as he listened for sounds in the hallway below him, his eyes staring at the video screen on his receiver. Soon he heard the foot steps, and It took all of his will to stop him from breaking into laughter. Helio mused that the world outside his brain must be moving at least 0.80c, because time seemed to have crawled to stop as the foot falls reached the lab door.
      Elation overcame Helio as he heard the jingle of keys, and the dull pop of pressure equalization that accompanies a door being opened. Suddenly light danced across Helios face as the Video screen light up. He could hear Mixie scream, and he could almost make out the words painted on her shaved body as he watched her fall onto the unsuspecting Grum Loberschmidt. He could see the perplexed look on Grums face as he mouthed the words, "Schrodinger's box has been opened, the observation has been made. Grum Loberschmidt is dead. Love Helio Krasinski."
      Helio bit back maniacal laughter as he heard Grum yelling, "Fuck! Shit! Fucking Helio, Fuck You! and Fuck your little cat too!" Shaving Mixie had been quite tedious, he doubted that his hands would heal without scaring, but this had been worth it. He had just scored 20 points for his alley. 150 S. Chester was now had an appreciable lead over thier Nemesis alley Hell. Helios visage contorted once again, as that unfamiliar smile crept over his face.
      Helio heard the sound of the elevator spurring into motion and waited as it went down to fetch the passengers below. This would be security coming to find him. With any luck He might get away. The elevator came to a halt right below him, and he heard the security guards muttering, "Must be that God Damn Blacker Gang again!" The elevator doors slid shut and Helio crawled into the elevator shaft, and lifted a ceiling panel from the elevator, and silently dropped down. Ground floor here I come he thought to himself, as the memories of Julia started creeping back into his mind. The smile faded from Helio's face.

      Here on this early morning of Sunday November the 5th, 2006 marks the first time in history that a fictional character has been killed in Alley Assassins. The fictional character of Grum Loberschmidt was killed in a work of fiction, by the fictional Mole Helio Krasinski who is a fictional member of the 150 S. Chester Alley. Since It was Helio that Killed Grum, he should get credit for the kill as well.

There you have it folks, no targets are truly out of reach. I'm going to take this opportunity to remind you that North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il has been added to the list of targets. I haven't even emailed him about it, so he's ripe for the picking.



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