11-27-2006 (12:01 am):
The game is over! 150 S. Chester wins with a commanding lead, followed by Miscellaneous Off-Campus and Hell. Good game, everyone!11-21-2006 (11:00 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Stephen "Wont He Or" Wilke
Assassin(s): Silas Bennett
What happened:
Silas, noting that no one was killing much of anyone, figured that Stephen's guard would be down. He was correct. One mouse trap-string-rubber band-tape concoction later, and Stephen needn't be paranoid any more.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (118):
+20 (kill)
4.0 kills for Silas Bennett
Hell (48):
-15 (loss of target)
11-19-2006 (7:30 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Sara "Half hour to live" Peek
Assassin(s): Dima Kamalov
What happened:
Dima, not satisfied by being dead, decided to live up by his nickname and kill Sara right back. He swapped out the note on the bomb and left it apparently untouched. Sara went to check on the bomb, setting it off with a new target. While theoretically Dima was supposed to physically return the bomb to Sara after setting it off, I'm going to say that since he left it for her, it counts.
Point Changes:
Munth (-17):
+30 (Assassination of a Master Assassin)
1.0 kills for Dima Kamalov
Miscellaneous Off-Campus (97):
-15 (loss of target)
11-19-2006 (7:00 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Dima "In Soviet Russia, Target Kills You" Kamalov
Assassin(s): Sara Peek
What happened:
Sara knew that Dima was a dirty hippy, but decided to rely on his better instincts getting him killed by planting a shampoo bottle bomb. Dima noticed that it was a bomb, but in attempting to defuse it set it off. Oh well.
Point Changes:
Miscellaneous Off-Campus (37):
+20 (kill)
+40 (Master Assassin)
3.0 kills for Sara Peek
Munth (-2):
-15 (loss of target)
11-13-2006 (2:00 am):
Event: KILL
Target: Silas "POOR IMPULSE CONTROL" Bennett
Assassin(s): Sherpa Jack
What happened:
Skrzypek managed to have his first effect on the game, killing Silas with a random-stuff bomb under his backpack while Silas printed up E10 transparancies. Sorry Hell, those +30 points have now vanished out of all knowledge of mortal men.
Point Changes:
Empty Set (null):
+30 (Assassination of a Master Assassin)
1.0 kills for Sherpa Jack
150 S. Chester (133):
-15 (loss of target)
11-12-2006 (8:30 pm):
Event: Lame Bomb
Target: Silas Bennett
Assassin(s): Sara Peek
What happened:
Silas decided to relax and do some work in the Sex Trailer computer lab, but Sara wanted to ruin his evening. However, he failed to notice the stuff-falling-off-the-back-of-his-chair bomb she'd set up, so this counts as lame.
Point Changes:
Miscellaneous Off-Campus (39):
-2 (lame bomb)
150 S. Chester (138):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
11-10-2006 (5:25 pm):
Event: Failed Assassination Attempt
Target: Nathaniel Borneman
Assassin(s): Veronica Anderson
What happened:
Veronica thought she could rely on Nathan opening the doors before dinner, so she placed her keys and a CDS glass by the door. Seth, having done the same thing last year, knew to expect this and handily defused her bomb.
Point Changes:
Miscellaneous Off-Campus (34):
+5 (defused bomb)
150 S. Chester (143):
-5 (failed attempt)
11-10-2006 (3:30 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Adrianne "There it is" Stroup
Assassin(s): Sara Peek
What happened:
Adrianne thought keeping her backpack out of Sara's reach would save here, but unfortunately her hair was still accessable. Sara tied a water bottle to Adrianne's hair, leading to her death. Note that Sara is now one kill away from Master Assassin status.
Point Changes:
Miscellaneous Off-campus (14):
+20 (kill)
2.0 kills for Sara Peek
Mobile P (-17):
-15 (loss of target)
11-8-2006 (10:00 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Ben "Bravestone" Reinhardt
Assassin(s): Silas Bennett and Mitch Wang
What happened:
With no kills in days, Ben was beginning to let his guard down. He thought to worry about his shoes, but he forgot other possible modus operandi. Silas and Mitch used a tripwire bome to get him as he left Brown athletic center. This makes Silas a Master Assassin, so he is now killable. Silas's poetic description of this kill is now uploaded to Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
Chester (83):
+20 (kill)
+40 (Master Assassin)
3.0 kills for Silas Bennett
1.5 kills for Mitch Wang
Hell (63):
-15 (loss of target)
11-5-2006 (1:39 am):
Event: KILL
Target: Grum "Fucks Cats" Loberschmidt
Assassin(s): Silas Bennet and Helio Kranski
What happened:
They said it was silly, having an At-Large target who lives not in Great Britain or in Italy but rather in the hearts and minds of us all. They said he was unreachable by those in our set of reality. But Silas proved them wrong, birthing Helio for the purposes of killing Grum. Since this has probably never happened in Alley Assassins before, I decided to split the points and the kill between Silas and Helios. The full story is available here, since to a greater extent than with other kills, the story is the kill.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (73):
+10 (kill)
2.5 kills for Silas Bennett
150i S. Chester (0):
+10i (kill)
0.5i kills for Helio Kranski
11-4-2006 (3:15 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Jeff "Ruthless Efficiency" Graham
Assassin(s): Andy Matuschak, Becky Russell, and Mike Kaye
What happened:
During the Alley Ordering, Jeff let Andy, Becky, and Mike hold his hat for a second, to facilitate helping his team win. Too bad that Alley Ordering teams aren't the same as Alley Assassin teams. The three put a bomb in Jeff's hat, which Jeff then triggered. Read the full story at Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
Hell (43):
+20 (kill)
0.33 kills for Andy Matuschak
0.33 kills for Becky Russell
0.83 kills for Mike Kaye
Munth (13):
-15 (loss of target)
11-3-2006 (10:00 pm):
Event: Lame Bomb
Target: Jeff Graham
Assassin(s): Jimmy Paulos and Veronica Anderson
What happened:
Jeff was having quite a good time at Munth Movies following Happy Hour zoo, and Jimmy and Veronica decided to take advantage of that. Veronica distracted Scotty by running all over Munth, and Jimmy put Veronica's keys on a glass near Jeff's feet. Unfortunately, our would-be assassins forgot that inebriation makes one less likely to notice a bomb after it's gone off as well as before, so this was a lame bomb.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (75):
-2 (lame bomb)
Munth (18):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
11-3-2006 (9:15 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Nathan "You take the high road, I'll take the" Lau
Assassin(s): Jimmy Paulos and Mitch Wang
What happened:
Nathan thought that living in the middle of nowhere would help him stay alive, but to get to and from campus, he needed his car. Jimmy and Mitch noted this, and set up a car bomb for Nathan. He started driving to soccer, and the rape alarm attached to the front wheel went off.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (53):
+20 (kill)
+2 (awesome car bomb)
1.0 kills for Jimmy Paulos
1.0 kills for Mitch Wang
Miscellaneous Off-Campus (29):
-15 (loss of target)
11-3-2006 (2:00 am):
Event: Lame Bomb
Target: Stephen Wilke
Assassin(s): Silas Bennett
What happened:
Stephen was trying to print something, but the printer jammed. He took a look, and found a note with a string attached. He had his friend Dennis examine things more fully, and it was discovered that the string was attached to a firecracker which was supposed to have gone off when Stephen printed something. Since the act of printing was the trigger, and the bomb only failed because the printer was insufficiently powerful to trigger the bomb, I'll rule it a lame bomb.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (54):
-2 (lame bomb)
+1 (fire crackers are cool)
Hell (48):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
11-2-2006 (9:30 pm):
Event: Failed Assassination Attempt
Target: Ben Reinhardt
Assassin(s): Hamik Mukelyan
What happened:
Ben Steele was checking though Ben Reinhardt's desk to make sure there were no bombs there, when he happened to kick Reinhardt's shoe and set off a bomb. Close enough for a defusal, by Alley Assassins standards.
Point Changes:
Hell (43):
+5 (defused bomb)
Heaven, Texas, Mole-Darb Triple (-20):
-5 (failed attempt)
11-2-2006 (9:15 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Matthew "The Real One" Feldman
Assassin(s): Silas Bennett
What happened:
Matt decided to show his Hovse spirit by playing against Ruddock in the soccer game. Silas decided to show his alley spirit by killing Matt. Read Tales of the Dead for details. Note that now Silas, too, is one kill away from Master Assassin status.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (34):
+20 (kill)
2.0 kills for Silas Bennett
Krogpad and Batcave (15):
-15 (loss of target)
11-2-2006 (2:30 am):
Event: Failed Assassination Attempt
Target: Lee Feinman
Assassin(s): Joe Antognini
What happened:
Pete decided to check Lee's chair for bombs, when he noticed an Altoid's box under the chair. Finding it full of dice and possessing a note from Joe, Pete did the right thing in protecting Lee from death.
Point Changes:
Krogpad and Batcave (10):
+5 (defused bomb)
Hell (48):
-5 (failed attempt)
11-1-2006 (10:00 pm):
Event: Failed Assassination Attempt
Target: Adrianne Stroup
Assassin(s): Silas Bennett
What happened:
Silas tries again, this time physically accessing Adrianne's laptop to point her browser to a page with an annoying background sound and leave a text file informing her of her death. Unfortunately for him, Kate opened up the laptop first. I'm not counting this as a virtual bomb because Silas had to actually physically access Adrianne's laptop to plant this, but it is somewhat close.
Point Changes:
Mobile P (-22):
+5 (defused bomb)
150 S. Chester (39):
-5 (failed attempt)
11-1-2006 (5:00 pm):
Event: Lame Bomb
Target: Nathan Lau
Assassin(s): Adrianne Stroup
What happened:
Adrianne placed a croquet mallet with keys and note on Nathan's laptop case, hoping to have Nathan knock them to the ground when he moved the bag. However, he asked Adrianne about it before seeing the note, and since he didn't realize it was a bomb until Adrianne said so, it doesn't count.
Point Changes:
Mobile P (-20):
-2 (lame bomb)
Miscellaneous Off-Campus (34):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
11-1-2006 (1:25 am):
Event: KILL
Target: Philip "Hair Loss" Leszczynski
Assassin(s): Joe Antognini
What happened:
Phil was very careful to make sure a friend opened the door to the laundry machine for him. He was less careful about actually taking his laundry out, triggering a bomb tied to his laundry. Note that Joe is now just one kill away from Master Assassin status.
Point Changes:
Hell (28):
+20 (kill)
2.0 kills for Joe Antognini
Heaven, Texas, Mole-Darb Triple (-5):
-15 (loss of target)
11-1-2006 (12:45 am):
Event: KILL
Target: Joe Salamon
Assassin(s): Scotty Raburn
What happened:
Joe sat down to start his work, and heard an alarm sound come from his pile of books. Though Joe didn't actually touch his books, Scotty assures me that the bomb was set up to trigger upon any contact with the desk, not just movement of the books. I'm going to count this as a kill until I see evidence otherwise.
Point Changes:
Munth (0):
+20 (kill)
1.0 kills for Scotty Raburn
Whispering Cannes (6):
-15 (loss of target)
10-31-2006 (10:15 pm):
Event: Failed Assassination Attempt
Target: Adrianne Stroup
Assassin(s): Silas Bennett
What happened:
Silas, knowing that Adrianne would be baking cookies in the Sex Trailer oven, planted a bomb on the oven door. Fortunately for Adrianne, Kate checked the door first. The bomb didn't actually go off properly, and probably would have counted as a lamb bomb had Adrianne been the one to open it, but by showing proper paranoia, Mobile P gains the five points instead of losing them.
Point Changes:
Mobile P (-20):
+5 (defused bomb)
150 S. Chester (22):
-5 (failed attempt)
10-31-2006 (10:05 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Tom "Good Cop" Mannion
Assassin(s): Silas Bennett
What happened:
Knowing that Tom would be having a large meeting with the IHC, Silas planted an explosive charge on his door. When the IHC arrived to have dinner, he opened the door and triggered the bomb. Silas points out that had this been a real bomb, he would have killed Tom and the whole IHC. Thanks Silas, just the people who have been causing the undergrads problems lately. Read more at Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (17):
+20 (kill)
+2 (taking out the IHC as well)
1.0 kills for Silas Bennett
10-31-2006 (9:50 pm):
Event: Failed Assassination Attempt
Target: Philip Leszczynski
Assassin(s): Seth Hendrickson and Nathaniel Borneman
What happened:
Liz was checking through Phil's room, and found a suspicious magnet bomb on his bed. She also found a pile of papers labeled "Bomb for Wilke from Borneman and Seth" on Phil's bed as well. I'm not counting that as a disarming, since it seems that Seth and Nathan were somehow interrupted in the process of planting bombs and left their extra notes in Phil's room.
Point Changes:
Heaven, Texas, Mole-Darb Triple (-10):
+5 (defused bomb)
Miscellaneous Off-Campus (40):
-5 (failed attempt)
-1 (leaving bomb parts around when forced to leave Phil's room)
10-31-2006 (7:40 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Ambi "-Dextrous" Valdés
Assassin(s): Seth Hendrickson and Nathaniel Borneman
What happened:
Ambi thought her precious backpack would not betray her, but Seth and Nathan were able to bribe it. Read her story at Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
Miscellanous Off-Campus (20):
+20 (kill)
0.5 kills for Seth Hendrickson
0.5 kills for Nathaniel Borneman
Heaven, Texas, Mole-Darb Triple (5):
-15 (loss of target)
10-31-2006 (5:50 pm):
Event: Failed Assassination Attempt
Target: Philip Leszczynski
Assassin(s): Jason Cerundolo, Shawn Ligocki, and Kenney Oslund
What happened:
Phil and Hamik discovered a rather complicated device built from a Ritz Crackers box, including speakers, a CD player, and a binder clip used as a trigger. However, it seems that one of the wires had come loose, and Hamik was unable to make it do anything. Oops.
Point Changes:
Heaven, Texas, Mole-Darb Triple (0):
+5 (defused bomb)
Whispering Cannes (10):
-5 (failed attempt)
+1 (would have been cool if it worked)
10-31-2006 (2:45 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Ollie "Tasty Biscuits" Barnet
Assassin(s): Sara Peek
What happened:
Ollie tried to resist the lure of Sara's tennis balls, but it proved too difficult, and he triggered her penny bomb.
Point Changes:
Miscellanous Off-Campus (0):
+20 (kill)
1.0 kills for Sara Peek
Womb (-20):
-15 (loss of target)
10-31-2006 (2:15 pm?):
Event: Lame Bomb
Target: Adrianne Stroup
Assassin(s): Dima Kamalov
What happened:
At around 11 AM, Dima put a bomb under the seat of Adrianne's bike. It's unclear what happened next; Adrianne never noticed the bomb despite riding the bike later that afternoon, and Dima later checked to find that his bomb had disappeared. I'm ruling this as a lame bomb, since presumably there was a point where Adrianne sat down and didn't trigger the bomb, though it's not entirely clear whether that's the case.
Point Changes:
Munth (20):
-2 (lame bomb)
Mobile P (-15):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
10-31-2006 (9:15 am):
Event: Lame Bomb
Target: Adrianne Stroup
Assassin(s): Mike Smith
What happened:
Adrianne woke up to a surprise in her room: two pot lids on the floor where they hadn't been before. Apparently Mike left these on her bed, hoping she'd wake up when they fell off; since she didn't, this constitutes a lame bomb.
Point Changes:
Hell (30):
-2 (lame bomb)
Mobile P (-15):
-5 (insufficient paranoia)
10-30-2006 (11:30 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Nathan "By Hook or By" Crook
Assassin(s): Jimmy Paulos and Mitch Wang
What happened:
Nathan had the bright idea to go visit his friends in 150 S. Chester. Jimmy and Mitch showed him the error of his ways. Read Chris Watson's poetic description of events in Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
150 S. Chester (0):
+20 (kill)
+2 (awesome poem)
0.5 kills for Jimmy Paulos
0.5 kills for Mitch Wang
Whispering Cannes (25):
-15 (loss of target)
10-30-2006 (9:00 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Mike "Haskell Haskell Haskell" Vanier
Assassin(s): Matthew Feldman and Michael Kaye
What happened:
Mike (who had been informed of the rules of Alley Assassin via email -- I wasn't going to make this too easy for you guys) made the classic Alley Assassins mistake of going to the bathroom, giving Matt and Michael the opportunity to bomb him with a large metal plate. Read more at Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
Hell (20):
+10 (kill)
0.5 kills for Michale Kaye
Krogpad and Batcave (0):
+10 (kill)
0.5 kills for Matthew Feldman
10-30-2006 (8:30 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Sara "Nobody Doesn't Kill" Li
Assassin(s): Joseph Antognini
What happened:
Sara decided to go relax and play some music in the music room. Joe attached a metronome to the door, ensuring that she died in an appropriately musical fashion. Learn the details at Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
Hell (0):
+20 (kill)
1.0 kills for Joseph Antognini
Mobile P (0):
-15 (loss of target)
10-30-2006 (5:45 pm):
Event: KILL
Target: Mat "Gotcha!" Barnet
Assassin(s): Jason Cerundolo and Shawn Ligocki
What happened:
Mat thought he was safe coming back to his apartment after walking Ollie. Jason and Shawn thought otherwise. Read the full story at Tales of the Dead.
Point Changes:
Whispering Cannes (0):
+20 (kill)
+5 (first blood, plus I was getting bored of no one getting killed)
0.5 kills for Jason Cerundolo
0.5 kills for Shawn LigockiWomb (0):
-15 (loss of target)
10-29-2006:
The targets have been uploaded, and the game starts at midnight tonight. (That is, the midnight separating Sunday the 29th from Monday the 30th.) Let the death begin!
10-20-2006:
The website is up, and the sign up sheet will go up tomorrow (Friday) after dinner. Ideally, the game will begin a week from this Monday (10-30-2006), but if we don't get enough targets plans may change.