For those of you bored with the blood and gore in Quake, Starcraft, and Final Fantasy, we humbly present Alley Assassin. Experience the thrill of a life-threatening competition which doesn't burn out your retinas, without having to leave the bounds of your own hovse.

Q. Who can be an assassin?
A. Any current full or social member of Blacker Hovse.

Q. Who can be a target?
A. Any current full or social member of Blacker Hovse who signs up in the lounge (see "The Targets" above). There will be a maximum of two targets per alley. Additional seekers of death will become at-large targets. Master Assassins are also targets (see the Rules).

Q. What if there's a roompick?
A. All targets will maintain their target status, but those who move may have to become at-large targets. Alleys lacking in targets due to moves will get the opportunity to pick new ones. Scores are by alley and will not change if people who scored points for that alley have moved. Number of kills, of course, remains cumulative for each person.

Q. What does the winning alley get?
A. The fear and respect of everyone else in the Hovse. (Just kidding.)

Q. Do I actually get to kill people?
A. Unfortunately, no. Current state and federal laws prevent us from making Alley Assassin that realistic.