Welcome Aboard
Do I have what it takes to be a pirate?

What are a pirate's duties?

Isn't it tough to be a pirate?

I heard that the pirate application process is long and tedious... is that true?

How can I become a pirate?

What can your school offer me?

Where do I sign up?
Want to get a degree from my pirate school? You gotta be accepted first! Fill out an application here.
Laughing, then jumping off something


Burying Treasure


Singing Sea Shanties

Maintaining a Proper Pirate Beard


Swinging from Chandeliers

Drinking Rum
Take the online pirate test

Graduates of Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling
Come see the many faces that make Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling that much more enjoyable.

Ahoy! Ye came lookin' to become a pirate, eh? Ye came to the right place. Ye be at Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling, the finest institution on the seven seas for pirate-tutoring and pirate-teaching. Located on secret pirate internet island, our fine school of swashbuckling carries the pride and knowledge of a thousand generations of pirates. Whether ye still be getting ye sea legs on or whether ye be a scurvy scurve, ye can benefit from Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling. Navigate using the stars, your compass, and the toolbar on the left. Full speed ahead!

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Look for the Cap'n Eli Seal of Approval, which looks exactly like my picture. Any page with this photograph is guaranteed to contain 100% pure concentrate piratey goodness. Just one click a day and ye got ye daily dose of Vitamin Pirate!

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Graduating from Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling is more than just your immortalization on Cap'n Eli's list of graduates. Cap'n Eli, through rigorous and harsh training, will teach you to act, think, and swear like the most scurvy of scurvy pirates. Most other pirate schools usually have a 'full money back if not fully satisfied with your pirate training.' Cap'n Eli's School of Swashbuckling does not have such a policy, due to the fact that we've never had any dissatified alumni, or ever will. After graduating from our school, you'll be sipping champaigne and playing 18 holes of golf with only the world's most elite and urbane pirates.
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Ye may takes courses from us without completing the application form (after all, at any institute of higher learning, the knowledge be free to flow). However, ye must be enrolled in my school to receive a degree from me. YAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!

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Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling is one of the oldest pirate institutions in the world. Originally built in December of 2000, Cap'n Eli founded this school with a dream; a dream to raise an army of fearsome pirates to bring glory back to the ol' skull and crossbones. Not settling for anything less than perfect, Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling is reknown through international pirate circles for producing top-quality mercenaries. Former president Clinton once said, "I wish I could be a pirate from Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling... but I was rejected and went on to achieve far lesser goals..."

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