O U R G U A R A N T E E
Look for the Cap'n Eli Seal of Approval, which looks exactly like my picture. Any page with this photograph is guaranteed to contain
100% pure concentrate piratey goodness. Just one click a day and ye got ye daily dose of Vitamin Pirate!
O U R P R O M I S E
Graduating from Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling is more than just your immortalization on Cap'n Eli's
list of graduates. Cap'n Eli, through rigorous and harsh training, will teach you to act, think, and swear like the most scurvy of scurvy pirates. Most other pirate schools usually have
a 'full money back if not fully satisfied with your pirate training.' Cap'n Eli's School of Swashbuckling does not have such a policy, due to the fact that we've never
had any dissatified alumni, or ever will. After graduating from our school, you'll be sipping champaigne and playing 18 holes of golf with only the world's most elite and urbane pirates.
O U R P O L I C Y
Ye may takes courses from us without completing the application form (after all, at any institute of higher learning, the knowledge be
free to flow). However, ye must be enrolled in my school to receive a degree from me. YAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!
O U R H E R I T A G E
Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling is one of the oldest pirate institutions in the world. Originally built in December of 2000, Cap'n Eli founded
this school with a dream; a dream to raise an army of fearsome pirates to bring glory back to the ol' skull and crossbones. Not settling for anything less than
perfect, Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling is reknown through international pirate circles for producing top-quality mercenaries. Former president Clinton
once said, "I wish I could be a pirate from Cap'n Eli's Online School of Swashbuckling... but I was rejected and went on to achieve far lesser goals..."