Warning!: This story contains absolutely no relevant subject matter and could be harmful to some people. Keep away from small children and pets. Store in a cool dry place away from direct sunlight. In case of accidental ingestion, call a doctor immediately.
Editor's Note: Please excuse any plagiarism, bizarre cults, misuse of dairy products, violence (don't try this at home kiddies), plot line diversions, contradictions, inaccuracies, verb tense errors, physical impossibilities, abundance of (...), gastronomical references, gratuitous sex, irrelevant interludes, vague references to subjects unknown to the common world, spontaneous combustions, introductions of new characters with absolutely no prelude, vulgar puns, subliminal messages, tasteless humor, rude noises, sexual euphemisms, and the intrusion of several large intergalactic llamas as this story was written by several people individually contributing lines while they were supposed to be doing schoolwork, paying attention to the teacher, or some other similarly useless activity. Anyone bringing an error to the attention of one of the authors will be systematically drugged, shot, hanged, drawn and quartered, forced to watch Ishtar six times, and put on probation. Repeat offenders will be dealt with more severely. We suggest that instead of spending your useless, insignificant life looking for errors committed by persons of much higher intelligence than you, just so you can gain a false feeling of superiority, that you merely sit back and enjoy the ride.
The use of several different typefaces represents the individual authors. Thus, to avoid confusion and lawsuits, the editor humbly submits for your approval this key:
| Black text | Jon Monten |
| Maroon text | Tom Pfeiffer |
| Teal text | Dan Murphy |
| Red text | Nat Loh |
| Blue text | Jen Perunko |
| Green text | Paul Stringer |
Another thing that may make this story a mite bit confusing is the apparent lack of logic. We assure you, it makes perfect sense. Well, at least to us. Most of the time. Alright, occasionally we understand what we're doing, but we're usually as lost as you.
All characters in this story are fictional and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is all in your mind and we suggest you seek professional help and/or have yourself committed to the nearest psychiatric hospital.
No animals were harmed during the writing of this story.
(Except for one fly who accidentally got too close to the light)
...and now, the moment you've all been waiting for, ==>