Interlude...
(Composed for your interludinal delight by Nat and Dolphin Boy [also known as Nat's cousin, Woody]).
Out of nowhere, a large green spaceship landed, shaped like a giant gluteus maximus. It crashed on the dictator-ridden country of Dictatorville, where Raul Julia... made a really bad movie before he slumped into a permanent inanimate state. Herr Buttski was the new appointed ruler along with Señor...Assmunch, a man who clearly got little respect; along with his best friend Jack Schitt. But when the aliens arrived, it was all over for the dictators, but the aliens underestimated Dictator Raul Julia's most lethal weapon: The... rancid and malodorous smell of his festering, rotting corpse. Herr Buttski, Señor Assmunch, and Jack Schitt (only son of Awe Schitt and Ohe Schitt, husband to Noe Schitt, father of Holy, Deep, Dip, Fulla, Giva, Bull, Lotta, and Chicken. Fulla and Giva married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd, Horace, and Pisa, but who cares?) were plotting to... befriend the aliens who secretly wanted Mr. Julia's cadaver to serve as a crude raft-like structure to reach the holy land, which, to the aliens, was a large garbage dump comprised of 74 lime-green Winnebagoes, all of whom...were burning. The dead body of Raul Julia did float, but it got too stinky, so they had to turn back, but instead they went to buy some...large roach farms for the purpose of breeding a super-invincible roach man who would undoubtedly become the new leader of the free world. However...it was scientifically impossible to do such a thing so they gave up. Instead, they decided to fly there in their buttock shaped green and big space vessel, but they had to deal with the hindrance effects of the...monstrous Green and White Polka Dotted Fire Hydrant From Hell!!! He wanted their souls, baby, and when a Green and White Polka Dotted Fire Hydrant From Hell wants your soul, you better give it to him; unless of course you're armed with a...herring. Well all the aliens had were sardines, which they really enjoyed eating, but that was close enough to make the Green and White Polka Dotted Fire Hydrant From Hell invoke his wild dance of the...sexual intercourse balls of bad grammar and run-on sentence! Enough of this garbage...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: (A man stands beside a mailbox, obviously an informant) "Where is my package of stones?" he frets, when a large boulder comes out of nowhere with the sole purpose of...selling him a triple by-pass surgery kit for only a purple pfennig. He had to go to Germany to get a pfennig and then to Mogadishu (Somalia) for some purple paint. He could only acquire a plane ticket by... selling his manly love to old ladies who recently won the lottery. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of those in abundance other than Wartie Oldwoman IV, who has quite a large number of prospective suitors, so in order to make himself stand out, Horton (the man) had to...cluck like a chicken until all the other old suitors, who were dealing with senility, would turn and start clapping merrily to the very interesting tempo of "bwock, bwock, bwock!" How could Horton cope with Wartie Oldwoman IV and his manly love in one place at the same time. He could only...become a gigolo! Sad, but true. Horton re-evaluated himself in the mirror one day and said to himself, "Horton, I'm 25 years old, and quite attractive, if I do say so myself. So I could get this old chick if I put my mind to it." When suddenly, Horton noticed a large green pulsating ooze on his schlong, so he thought to himself... da helz wit dat! Sku dat triple by-pass surgery kit. Instead, he went to college and majored in astrophysics, along with... his super-hot girlfriend named Ickicky Zoopbatoingnoo! (Ni!) His girlfriend likes gold pots. A lot. So this left Horton with a dilemma: should he sell his mother's $1,000 puzzle set to buy the pots for Icky so he could dance the wild monkey dance? His answer was a resounding...my brain hurts! Instead, he went to college and stole some gold pots, did the wild monkey dance, burned the puzzle, and bought some sweet morsels of...rancid goat. Not appetizing at all, so he decided to END THIS ¦ %¢J |_δ $ª | OF AN INTERLUDE! We now return to your regularly scheduled chapter... while you snack on chocolate chip cookies that come in cute pink wrappers.