2001.09/07 Do Your Best

EXCERPTED FROM MESSAGE TO VLADMIR GLUZMAN

} Third thing is something that has been throwing me off in working on our
} Project. Specifically, I'm finding that I'm trying to live by a couple of
} philosophies that are majorly conflicting and causing serious stress by
} doing so. An example of this was our time at the Black Pearl Cafe. I was
} majorly stressed the entire time that we were there (don't know if you
} noticed...). And here's (I think) why. So, one philosophy says that if
} we're out to make a change, NOW's the time to do it. I'm out to be a
} positive person, and imbue the lives of the people around me with positive
} energy, so, I should be doing that right now. I actually greatly subscribe
} to this Principle (is this correct PAL usage of the word?), and have for a

It is indeed.  It could be further refined by an actual spectral metric
(measure how much one is generating positive energy and where the threshhold
lies) but the presence metric (is it there?) is in fact sufficient.

} long time. However, there's another Principle, greatly rooted in Reality.
} In fact, we talked about this one when PV first got started. Deep and big
} changes take Time. We have to approach them with Patience, and allow them
} to take root and grow, never hurrying them. Problem is, the first
} Principle is intrinsically impatient. Begin NOW, it says. While the second
} one says, hey, give it time -- don't worry about how you're acting right
} now, these things take time to take root.
} 
} The difficulty that arises is that I've got the impatient philosphy
} telling me to live life as I am aiming to, while the patient one tells me
} that you can't. Not Yet. Notice how the word "aiming" points to the
} future. So, in the example of the Black Pearl with Carey and Bruce, the
} impatient philosophy was telling me that -- hey, here's an opportunity to
} do what you strive for. It was perfect, in fact, which is why, I think, it
} caused such great stress. On the other hand, it was perfectly unrealistic
} to expect me to act now the way I'm aiming to act a year or two from now.
} Simply because -- SHIT!!! -- the time hasn't gone by yet with all of its
} side effects!!!! And the horrible thing is -- if I give it, like, five
} seconds' thought, I can come up with what I'd have liked myself to say,
} but my Manner and my Personality -- which are the only things reasonably
} to be expected to do the actual acting -- they come up with completely
} different things! Which just makes each moment in the conversation a
} stress-bomb with a five-second fuse!!!!! By the end of the day, this
} integrates to a cramp disabling half the muscles in my back on my way
} home. Which, BTW, is exactly what Carey was talking about at the beginning
} of the day yesterday. :-) The other problem is that it leads to a complete
} freeze on doing anything. Because I've got two inputs into my action
} mechanisms, which are telling me to do different things. Result:
} paralysis.
} 
} The main solution that I can think of to this problem is an application of
} the Zen. In the Zen, the Manner and Personality etc do all the input to
} action, with the consciousness supplying them with parameters for their
} operation (say, how frivolous a topic of conversation to choose). On the
} other hand, only the conscious mind can determine what the Right Now
} Principle would have me do. Which means that the consciousness has to be
} the direct input to action. By applying the Zen, paralysis is resolved.
} However, I think also that the conflict of Principles would need to be
} resolved. (Perhaps I didn't mean principles, but Convictions...) Which is
} also quite possible. Any other thoughts?? How should I act Right Now???

Hmmm...  okay, here's a heads up: what I'm about to say next is the most
important part of this entire e-mail.  So get yourself some tea, make
yourself comfortable, and open your thoughts to something new.  Here it is:

The two ideas "Act NOW!" and "Big Changes take Time" are not contradictory.
In fact, they work best together and create a useful idea called "Doing Our
Best".  Patience and Impatience are orthogonal concepts stemming from
expectation and acceptance.

Let's talk about Incremental Refinement (the precursor to Incremental
Resolution).  Suppose that we are given a function in time f(t) whose value
is known at t_0.  Further suppose that we have a goal value f_1 but that we
can't change the function too quickly (i.e. we can't exceed a maximal slope
magnitude s_max).  That would mean that

         |f_1 - f(t_0)|
  t_1 >= |------------| + t_0
         |   s_max    |

Stated two different ways: "Changes take a minimum amount of time" and "The
bigger the change the longer the time it takes".  So the second idea is
nothing more than a statement of fact: given realistic constraints (a |slope|
<= s_max) Big Changes take Time.

However, we can observe an interesting phenomena.  In order to minimize the
delta_t, the function needs to have a monotonic progress toward the new goal
value, at each point moving toward it with the maximal instantaneous velocity
s_max.  Stated differently, "Large Change is just sustained Small Change".

We can make stronger statements.  Suppose we were to (just like in
differential calculus) split our interval (t_0, t_1) into subintervals, and
let those intervals go to zero.  That means the actual change necessary in
any instant is infinitesimally small.  "Large Changes are just infinite sums
of vanishingly Small Changes".

Moreover, "The fastest path to Change is to Do Your Best at every moment."
Recall that the whole process is limited by s_max, which represents the
largest change that can be made in an instant.  That is, in a very real
sense, the best that can be done and there isn't any better.  There are no
discontinuous jumps, no infinite delta functions, and no pole teleportation.
The best that you can do is to Do Your Best.  

Now suppose that we viewed the function as actively evolving in time, and we
are a point on the function curve being swept along by the arrow of time.
Any moment that we Do Our Best we change the most we can, any moment we do
less that that we change a little less, and any moment we do nothing we don't
change at all.  That means that in a very real sense: "The Only Time Change
can occur is Right Now".

This is a very powerful concept that should not be underestimated.  The only
time _anything_ can happen is in _this very instant_.  You cannot act in the
past, you cannot be assured preparations will mean anything in future.  Not
only is Now the only time you can be assured to act but also it is the only
time action can be taken _at all_.  The Power of Now is a big topic in and of
itself; let's hold off on it for the nonce so that we can integrate these two
ideas.

So suppose we wanted to make a Change.  One way of viewing change is that it
is complete at time t_1 and is "not done yet" at any earlier time.  Another
way of viewing the change is as a process that must perforce occur over time
and is "in progress" at every intervening moment that any infinitesimally
small change is made.  Most of the time the changes we make are Small to
begin with, and these two persectives are indistinguishable.

But suppose the change was a Big one.  Then in the former view, one is
constantly projecting forward, seeing things as incomplete, and quite
frequently frustrated.  In the latter view, one is focusing on right now,
sees the fastest progress possible being made, and is often fulfilled.  I
personally believe that the latter view is not only more helpful than the
former but also more accurate.  

If we make a microfractionally Small Change every moment we Do Our Best, then
we are making a necessary part of any arbitrarily Large Change Right Now.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step; it consists _only_
of single steps; every step you take is a necessary part of the journey;
there is no faster way to walk there than to take your best stride every
single step.

Finally, Patience and Impatience are manifestations of expectations and not
intrinsically linked to either concept.  If you expect the world to function
other than it does, expect yourself to be anyone other than you are right
now, expect that you can do more than Your Best in any moment, then you will
be Impatient.  If you expect the world has inherent limitations that just are
and must be accepted, expect that you are who you are right now and accept
him whoever he is, expect that you can Do Your Best right Now and accept
that, then you will be Patient.

In the formulation developed above neither idea is inherently Patient or
Impatient.  Expecting something unrealistic Right Now is quite different than 
realizing that the only time we can Act is Now.  Saying that we should wait
for changes is quite different than saying Big Changes Take Time.  In fact,
when we marry the two concepts we can see that the opposite is in fact being
said.  It is realistic to expect that we can Do Our Best Right Now, and that
we shouldn't wait at all, but be continually making Big Changes in the form
of many Small Ones.

Whew!  Okay, that was just the background to make my actual recommendations.
First, I'd suggest adopting the above views, in particular the incremental /
constant change perspective.  It would help clarify where the actual change
is occurring, namely, Right Now.  Second, you may want to alter your
expectations so that they are a) more realistic and b) lead to fewer
stress-bombs; in particular you might try accepting yourself as you are.
After all, you couldn't be any other way, and you _are_ changing.  It is
unrealistic to expect you to act the way you are going to act two years from
now; it is quite realistic to expect that you will Do Your Best at this very
moment.  

I agree that using the Zen might allow for less paralytic action but wouldn't
actually resolve your conflict.  It looks like the difficulty is more about
unmet expectations than actual "poor" performance.  You could certainly focus
on improving your Manner and Personality, but if your expectations are still
unrealistic, it won't change the way you feel about your behavior.  

BTW, for the sake of completeness I would mention that we can always
consciously override our behaviors in real time if need be.  There are tried
and true techniques to bypass the behavioral layer and directly control our
actions.  In some instances this may be called for (i.e. when the situation
falls far outside our normal operating range) but for the most part I don't
recommend this course.  It burns a lot of energy, takes unwavering focus, and 
has little long-term benefit.  We are much better off investing in behavioral
change (say, altering our Personality and Manner).

Anyway, that's my two bits.  

BTW, have you read the Autobiography of Ben Franklin?  He would be Proud at
our Use of Capitals.  ;-)

} Fourth thing is The Zen. I think I'm beginning to see it. No, really. I
} just had an experience juggling my stix that really showed me something of
} what the Zen is like -- especially as it relates to what you were
} describing with acting with just the Manner, Personality, etc and also
} with having access to all the different levels of detail. The important
} thing that I saw that I hadn't seen before was what to do with the
} conscious mind. It's like -- idle hands are the devil's workshop, and an
} idle consciousness is the anti-Zen's workshop. By concentrating with my
} consciousness on the stix and directing myself, I was able not only to
} make myself better with the stix, but also enter the Zen, and even sample
} some of the great feed-back loops (thought-action-observation-thought)
} that you had been talking about.

LOL!  I like that: "Idle Consciousness is the anti-Zen's workshop".

} OK, I think that's about it... Whew.. Anyhow, now that you've read this
} far -- thanks for the patience with the stream of consciousness format
} here. Hope you're having fun down there in Pasadena, and I'm going to look
} into joining you there next weekend.

See you soon!