How to Spaz with Style

O my god we spaz so badly in this campaign. Why, oh why do we do it? For those not it the know, spazzing is when a player takes an action (or is forced to take an action) that is totally uncalled for. The aftermath of a spaz usually leaves the character or the entire party fucked. Here's how to spaz (inspiration from actual events):

• Take a desperate action when none is needed.
• Misconstrue the situation in a bad way when deciding on critical actions..
• Honestly believe that your well thought-out plan will work despite the DM's negative body language.
• If it's either spaz or take a cheezy min/max action, chooze spaz.
• Don't take a blindingly obvious and efficient action because it's not original or in character (even when it is).
• Be stubborn and do not cooperate with party in the last battle.
• When a secret attack is planned on the big bad guys, proclaim the news aloud to the city.
• Do something profanely stupid in a sensitive situation because it's just too boring to wait.
• Do something profanely stupid in a sensitive situation just for the hell of it.
• Fighting's boring... do something original like spill tar all over the combat zone or open the demon prison in hopes they will fight on your side.
• Purposefully hit allies in area-effect spells because your character can't "estimate ranges" with precision.
• Study and emulate Taine, spazmaster extraordinaire.