you, girl
are fucking me up

6:00 am flat,
i wake up in complete darkness
restless
not
out of control, yet
not quite
but i can feel the approach
and i know soon
i'll have trouble breathing
when
you touch me casually,
when we're speaking
glance my way
and smile at me
each time i slip
deeper

i don't even know you
i don't trust you
and i have no reason to care
but i've been betrayed by
your beauty
and your canadian accent

i wasn't lonely
until i met you

and now you've got
me writing poetry
which is the
WORST FUCKING SIGN

and waking up
at 6:00 am flat
in complete darkness
restless
the pit in my stomach
far deeper than
any "true love'
after the fall

listen
i'm falling for you
it's the last thing
i wanted to do
and you know
FUCK YOU
and FUCK YOU
i know you
don't care
that's alright
go ahead, stare
astonished, afraid
listen
it's just me
up here on the stage
and it's just love
or an acute
affectionate phase
i'm going through
as i'm sure you "will do"
from time to time

how do you want this
to end?

even if you want me
you know you can't have me
so what's in the game?

what's this?
why not?
BECAUSE (you know why)
and look, it's
going to be bad enough
this way
this is my fault
i know it is
falling for you

in my defense there was
nothing, NOTHING i could
do against

your smile
your wit
the possibilities of your kiss
that play on my mind
your unconscious
affectionate gestures
of every kind

so listen, when i come down
grab a beer
and then head for the exits
enjoy the rest of the show
and forget this

tomorrow
i'll be lying awake
at 6:00 am flat
in complete darkness
restless
but at least i'll have said this