"Philosopy, is a walk on the slippery rocks"

(Originally from a letter to Samira Mehta, 12/9/96)

It's funny, thinking about that. The thought popped into my head that Patrick and I should have an open seminar titled "Two amoralist atheists on rationalism" or something, invite the whole campus. Just a thought. I've had basically two conversations about philosophy and morality since I've come here - it's not something that people expend their energy on. And at times, I understand that.

Arguing the self-interest tack, you know, people don't want to think about what they don't want to think about, so they don't. I guess that's a large part of why I never have proselytized my rationalism - I'm happy with what I believe, I think it's truer than any philosophy I've ever met, but I honestly don't think I'm really better off than anyone else for believing it. It's roundabout relativism, or something. Anyone who believes whatever they believe has the same satisfaction of knowing that they know truth, so enlightening them to my point of view would benefit no-one. I guess that's all obvious, but hey, it's written, so there.

Experientialism's my current schtick, if you care to bash it - I'd enjoy any hard criticisms you can come up with. No ends, only means . . . and it's another universal: just as with rational self-interest, even though you may deny it, you're following it. If you believe you aim to satisfy ends, it is only because you want to experience the seeking of ends, 'cause you like it.

Simple and beautiful, nutricious and delicious.

I have completely sincere doubts about the objectivity of the universe a lot of times. I have a pretty strong belief that if I believed the universe to be other than it seems to be, it would change . . . that I am bound as I am only because I wish to be.

"It's easy if you really want to do it,
to keep yourself in the air . . ."
- Suddenly Tammy

I have this memory of once levitating - I jumped into the air, and moved my arms, fast, up and down - I stayed in the air for like ten seconds, just suspended. I must have been about 10 years old, when it happened. I try it, every once in a while, to see if I can do it again. I've never managed to conquer my cynic "rationalism".

Why did the African Gods loose their powers when the white man showed up? The tribespeople live for centuries seeing the power of their gods, the white man comes, builds his church in the forbidden, evil part of the forest, offending the gods, and yet they don't kill him. The gods die. When's someone going to show up, tell us science is a false god, and we'll tell him we can kill him with it, he'll tell us we're wrong, we'll go and kill him, and it won't work, 'cause science will be dead? I won't stubbornly hold on, when it happens . . . when your gods die, there's no use in standing by them. The pagans may have hated the Cristians, the Cristians may have hated the rationalists, with their faith in science, but there was no resistance, there never is. None that's worthwhile. When gods, paradigms die, the universe has changed, and it don't change back.