NETSCAPE OPEN DIRECTORY PROJECT ENGINEER TAKES FORCED SABBATICAL
Yahoo may soon regain the title of worlds largest web directory as the Open Directory Project slips into chaos.
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. - April 1, 2001 - Netscape
Communications, a subsidiary of AOL Time Warner Inc. (NYSE: AOL),
today announced the departure of Open Directory Project engineer Keith
Peters. Peters will be taking a forced sabbatical of undetermined
length. The sabbatical is part of Netscape's ongoing commitment to the
mental and physical health of all of its employees.
Lisa Bekker, Senior Human Resources Coordinator for Netscape states,
"Netscape has a long standing policy to intervene in situations where
employees, who are working too hard for their own good, need a
break. Keith is suffering from various stress related symptoms, and we
feel he's earned a breather. Granted work on the Open Directory may
suffer, but in the long term we feel it's for the best. Towards the end
some of Keith's Perl coding was getting a little unconventional, like
when he insisted on programming in anagrams."
Bekker continues, "Forced sabbaticals are not a new occurrence at
Netscape. For instance, Marc Andreessen was forced to take a temporary
leave of absence when it became clear he was taking his title of CTO a
little too seriously."
Engineering Director and Open Directory Project founder, Rich Skrenta,
had this to say about the departure of one of his key employees:
"Keith is a great programmer, who just let the daily grind of new
features and bugs get to him. He was retreating deeper and deeper into
a fantasy world. At first we thought it was just his way of getting
psyched up, by pretending to be Robozilla. Then he showed up to work
wearing nothing but green body paint. We interpreted that as a cry for
help. Everyone here at the Open Directory Project hopes that Keith
gets the help he needs and are looking forward to his return to work."
About Keith Peters
Keith Peters, a native of New York, graduated from the prestigious
California Institute of Technology in 2000. Peters joined the Open
Directory Project team at Netscape that same year. Keith quickly
became an integral part of the ODP and was soon in charge of ODP
engineering development. Rumors of an out of control inflatable llama
addiction are mostly unfounded. Peters will be spending his sabbatical
at the Stanford Bipolar
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This press release is in no way true. This isn't even a real
press release. The ODP staff appologizes to everyone about
everything. This is a bad, bad joke and is not funny in any way. If
you laughed, shame on you and shame on us.
No llamas were harmed in this hoax, inflatable or otherwise.