Welcome to the Exciting Adventures of Rees!
May 27, 1996
Met this interesting graphic artist guy while I was out to
coffee with some of my friends. He seemed very sweet, but what really
intrigued me was the fact that he had actually produced one of those
catchy freebie postcards that you always see hanging on the back walls at
the back of trendy coffeehouses and dinner spots. I never thought
REAL people made these postcards; I guess I had just always assumed
that they were yet another extraterrestrial ploy to bankrupt the
resources of our planet prior to a massive attack by exhausting our
cardboard supply, or maybe just another
unsuccessful attempt to make post-consumer recycled waste appear
attractive. Whatever.
April 17, 1996
Quite possibly the happiest day of my adult life....all nine
months of it, anyway. A new chapter of my semi-autobiographical
memoirs will be centered in Santa Clara.
April 7, 1996, even later
Well, a lizerd, much-resembling the dark force of the
nether-regions which invaded my privacy this morning, has been
successfully captured by my housemates. They taunt me with the scaly
beast, threatening to unleash his fury upon me if I further mock their
manhood. Hmmm...like, what else is there to do?
April 7, 1996, later the same day
OK, now it's not so funny. Apparently the lizard escaped
while I was cowering in the living room. Somewhere, hidden in my
room, lurks one really pissed-off lizard. I think I'll sleep on the
couch tonight.
April 7, 1996
Happy Easter!! I've been up since about 6:30 am PST(5:30 if you forgot
to set your clocks forward...), and I am scared to go into my room because I
woke up and was about to go the bathroom when I discovered that there was
A HUGE LIZARD ON THE FLOOR. I am not making this up. I tried to corner it, but it moves really fast, so eventually I just threw a towel on
it and pinned the corners of the towel down with lots of textbooks. I am
hoping that this will be enough to keep it there till my housemates wake up.
I just don't have the testosterone necessary to deal with this, so I am
trapped outside of my room, afraid that the lizard will escape and--well,
do whatever it is that lizards do.
There you go. Hope your Easter is going well.
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