Margaret - (pricemmm@email.rosary.edu)- my sis, random yutz in training...
And thems that don't.
Mary Sue - my mumsy dear, terribly flighty English major
Rose - my other sis, she does six impossible things before breakfast
David - another little brother, your typical mass consumer
Brendan - baby brother, still able to shit his pants and laugh
without fear of social condemnation
Comrades, Friends, and Close Personal Aquaintances
High School Sweethearts
Gwendolyn (Faust) Burtnett - (gfun69@aol.com) - aaaughhhh!! She's
6 months younger than me, and she's already married!!!! Oh,
well...Gwen always WAS a little more advanced than me...As punishment
for her new-found happiness, she's stuck up in mosquito-infested
Fairbanks, Alaska. Girlfriend, you're in the army, now!
Joan Caroline Stasica - (jstasica@mail.millikin.edu) - trapped in
the cornfields of Decatur, Illinios with only Dave and Dirk for
company....how I pity her...
Michelle Schiltz - (mschil2@orion.it.luc.edu) - bio-chemist with a
penchant for tickling the life out of her enemies...bribable with
large quantities of salt, kind of like that alien chick who dated
McCoy on Star Trek.
College Partners in Inebriation
Dave -
[duh-ay'-f] cynical, fatalistic, and a jolly good time; see also, BBC One. My favourite bits of his truly amazing homepage are his
incredible on-line
toilet", and his list of happy quotes.
Henry - preppy
is as preppy does; ohn-lee zee fah-nest for moh-see-ah Ahn-ree! If there were an organization for yuppie puppies, Henry would be top dog.
Huy - another
angry-young-man, fighting against an uncaring system. Likes to
snowboard when he's not busy throwing off the evil yoke of oppression.
Jeff - endless fount
of cheer and goodwill, leading me to believe he's really a cyborg sent
to destroy Western civilization. Shares my obsession with all things
Nihon-no.
Lily -
the most fun you can have without bringing a shotgun to a strip mall.
So happy it hurts!
Mike
- [moh-eye'-k] yet another cynical, fatalistic British chap. Is it
something in the water?
Paul - Is it,
like, possible to be, like, a valley girl if you're, like, not from
the valley and,like, technically, like, not female, either?
Sindy - truth
really IS stranger than fiction. Consider Sindy the gospel of truth.
Srdjan -
tragic poverty caused by earlier Serbian-Croatian struggles left young
Srdjan's village with a critical vowel shortage. He despises our
bourgeois American use of vowels in words such as aardvark and
onomatopoeia, since it serves as a constant, deeply painful reminder
of his sordid past.
Tim - he moves in
mysterious ways. Steve Chase and I are still arguing about who gets
to marry him.
T.J. - a man and his motorcyle. What
love could be more pure? If you start the engine, it even keeps you
warm at night.
Tots - your
typical model; thin, borderline anorexic, and envied/hero-worshipped
by all of her female friends. Amazingly, she's still single! Check
her out, guys, so I don't have to hear more pathetic whining about
"finding a man."
Zane - once
mistaken for a girl, young Zane turned to steriod use to bolster his
flagging masculine image. Now come to terms with his inner turmoil,
he is a proud mother of three.
Housemates/They Who Are Truly Deserving of Your Most Heartfelt
Pity
Ethan - too clever for
his own damn good. May not live to see his nineteenth birthday.
Josh - (jsacks1@ugcs.caltech.edu) - a cs major without a homepage; is
this not truly pathetic? If you are female, between the ages of
twelve and thirty, and have some sort of keyboard attachment to your
person, please drop him a line.
Shirles - (shirles@ugcs.caltech.edu) - wacky chemist and secret
leader of the infamous "Den of Chen." We are not really sure whether
or not she lives with us, but she puts up a good front. Also known as
the famous kung-fu actress, Shir Lee.
People I Worship in My Spare Time
Luscious Ladies
Eileen Wexler - she's
got looks, brains, and more Burger King puppets than I do! If you
can't afford illegal substances, check her out.
Eve Andersson -
inexorable obsession with pi resulted in some sort of nervous
breakdown and a really kickass homepage.
He's Sooo Dreamy!
Joe Loong -
Cynical, fatalistic...wait a minute, is this my friend Dave in
disguise?
Kyle
MacLachlan - gosh, he's cute! Double Bonus: He can act! I don't
care if his chin is vaguely disturbing...I prefer the word,
"intriguing."
Matt Doucleff - he,
too, appreciates the joy of a really good bagel.
Mike Radford - my
ultra-cool CS1 T.A. I secretly lust after him because he has the
tidiest printing of any human I've known.
Richard
Murray - is it wrong to worship one of your teachers? I've decided
that this guy is probably the most studly prof I've encountered so
far. I still can't figure out how he lectures for an hour without
breathing! Sir, if you're reading this, please don't take legal
action. I'm not dangerous.