I don't know what it is like to drown
But maybe I can understand the feeling:
Knowing people love you,
Remembering the times they caught you before and
Saved you.
Wondering why no one hears now,
No hand reaches out,
To firmly but lovingly remove you from the depths.
As you are most alone,
Desperately alone,
Will nothing ever surface again?

Yet it is at this moment, tragically,
That everything pours out,
Floats to the top of my mind.
A beautiful, piercing voice in my memory
Brings it to intense focus:
A walk in the morning.
Bright sun, traffic lights changing colors.
Greetings to old friends as they pass,
And curious chirps to the friend you never saw,
Knew him only by your keen hearing -

You knew your own kind.
Your favorite tree, quaker-tree,
With its swaying branches and green, inviting berries.
A gentle bath to cool the sun from your back,
Laughter as you tossed and sprayed,
Floundering happily,
A pathetically-adorable, dripping-wet baby.
You loved the water.

I wish I could have been there for you,
Wish a hundred times over,
As I go through it all in my mind.
At night, I toss and turn, missing you.
You were always there with me,
Dependent, but ever willing to gratefully return
my love.
I meant the best for you always,
Giving you the pleasures of freedom,
Satiating your toddler-like curiousity,
Without letting you fly to danger.
Can you believe that, little angel?
And remember the wondrous moments we shared?
I will never forget your sweet song.