A lot of people seem to have a strong position on "Internet romance", which I find particularly amusing in light of the other problems facing our nation and the world, many of which seem to be met with ennui by the average person.

Still, I do understand how those touched by this particular phenomenon, for better or worse, can get pretty emotional. That's natural. Myself, I've never had much reason to take sides, and I've never really used the Internet as a way to meet members of the appropriate sex (like that blanket term?). Would I ever? Maybe... it certainly has its advantages over other ways of meeting people. Of course, it's also no miracle cure for the loveless -- at best it's a salve. Here's my opinion's worth on some points:

The Good:

One of the finest things about Internet romance is its dependence upon communication. Oh sure, we've all hit mental blocks from time to time, and it is wonderful to spend time with someone and not feel compelled to talk about anything, but truthfully, people involved in relationships, yes, even marriages, simply do not talk enough, and a good bet as to why is because they can't. They've wound up with someone they choose for reasons other than having great person-to-person communication, and only realize this when the loneliness and coldness of the relationship starts to set in, or when problems come up, seemingly out of nowhere.

Humans are a combination of animal and consciousness. In person-to-person relations, many let the animal side dominate, which is only natural, since you're fighting with millions of years of evolution. However, our minds do like to have some say in things, and are amazingly complex and (occasionally) surprisingly powerful, um, -- well, think of them as "entities" trapped in a vessel not necessarily "designed" with their best interests in mind. They often like to challenge our animal ways and instincts, formulating higher goals based on logic and reason, etc. Our minds are what define us as humans, yes?

Finding a balance between these two sides is a key to a happy existence. Deny the animal, and you deny what you are. Deny the consciousness, and you deny what you could be. This pretty much leads straight to my feelings on the good side of Internet romance: Communication between two conscious minds is a great thing. The Internet allows people to hook up over mutual interests quite easily and begin this kind of communication... often with greater ease and chance of success than "traditional" ways of meeting others. If a mutual affection develops as a result of such communication, then who am I to criticize it? But remember (yes, caveat emptor), you are human, and there is more to personal intimacy than mere words on a screen.

In other words: Don't rush in, fools.

While "Internet romance" can result in nastiness and broken homes, etc., I think more of the blame needs to be put upon conditions preceding the onset of such things. Really, the Internet is incidental in most cases. Had the same two people struck up a dialogue in some other way, the result would likely be the same. The one true "fault" of the Internet is that it makes the connection all the more likely to happen. It can be an amplifier for a person's desperation, and it allows trust to build, gradually, since there exists a division -- a sense of security -- between the parties involved.

To get back to the pre-existing causes that deserve much of the blame, consider the state of many relationships (including marriages). They are emotional wastelands, long-since stripped of any spontaneity or daring, often beset by a staggering lack of overlapping interests and surprisingly little communication (I read a survey that said the average couple spends less than 10 minutes a day in genuine discussion of anything, and that half of the time they do spend talking in such a way is devoted to deciding (debating, arguing, whatever) whether or not they will have sex (!)). This doesn't mean that one or both of them isn't eager to have someone to talk to, just that they have lost interest in talking with their mate (spouse, boy/girlfriend, whatever). Along comes the Internet... chat rooms... other desperate people seeking a mind to connect with to pull them from what they perceive as a dreary existence (whether it is really that bad or not).

From here, we've all heard the story:
Suddenly, the other member of the pair is wondering why the one is spending so much time on the computer. Rather quickly, the computer user runs off to meet his/her interest, leaving behind a broken set of dreams and a lot of confusion (keep in mind that in relationships, the perception of whether things are going well or not varies greatly between partners... if you've never experienced (or realized) this before, you're lucky (or unobservant)).

What's worse is when the one who runs off finds they've been deceived. The solution they sought becomes simply another (even greater?) problem.

Yes, there are unscrupulous individuals out there looking for trusting people (they call them "suckers"). And yes, this is bad. And yes, the Internet can make it easier for these people to find targets (sometimes, in some ways). But these folks existed long before computer networks, so lay off blaming the Internet, OK? Just remember to use common sense and not be so trusting so quickly as to get yourself into trouble.

Internet romance is perfect for anyone concerned that they fall into this category. Sadly, if your romance is ever going to "bloom", you'll probably have to meet your love face-to-face at some point. While it is by no means a guarantee, the bleak truth is that like it or not, physical attraction, for most people, does have its place in a sexual relationship. Of course, if this sort of thing really doesn't matter to you and the object of your affection, all the better... for the two of you, the Internet is the place to be: your mind connected to his/hers about as well as can be expected across the miles, these days.

To sum up: for platonic friendship or love, I see nothing wrong with the Internet. Yes, people may still try and use you, manipulating with deception (see above), but realize... they can do this in real life (i.e. face-to-face), too.

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