Actually, this title is somewhat redundant...

Seriously, though, so many times on "personal" pages, we see things like "I enjoy music, and the outdoors, and have a sense of humor". (Whoop-dee-do.) Granted, it's nice to know someone's not a total shut-in, or can appreciate a good tune, but really... do these things make you unique? How could someone really begin to form a picture of a unique individual when given only generalizations? Even if you say, "I enjoy music by Pearl Jam, Silverchair, and Stone Temple Pilots," this really doesn't add a lot... I mean, can't thousands of others say the same thing? Saying, "I enjoy music by Hank Williams, Celtic Frost, the Alan Parsons Project, and Earth, Wind & Fire," is a bit more meaningful,... at least, if it's actually true.

That's sort of the idea with this page. Yes, I've spilled some big generalizations elsewhere, and yes, a lot of what I enjoy and do is not amazingly uncommon (how many dabbling artists, writers, and would-be philosophers exist out there?) -- which is precisely why I decided I needed this page. Here we answer the question, "What's he got that I've haven't got?" in frightening detail.

John's ^ST^RAN^GE but TRUE

• Owns a crocheted Sword
  

• Has the nickname "Waschbär"
  

• Used to have the nickname "Baby Slick"
  

• Narrowly missed being killed by falling objects twice in the same week -- the same week he was also twice misidentified (as a friend) by two different strangers 300 miles apart
  

• Once saved seven baby crayfish from being stranded by receeding flood waters, nursed them back to health, and released them when the streamflow returned to normal
  

• Deliberately and unnecessarily used the word "Toronto" in his high-school valedictorian speech
  

• Has photographed large ants on bushes more than once -- and in two different countries -- for no reason other than personal amusement
  

• Last victim of the "Marquis Curse": All 3 of his parents' children have badly wrecked their cars within 2 weeks of receiving their Drivers' Licenses.
  

• Built a scale (gliding) model of the Wright Flyer from scratch, using only a pair of photograps as his guide
  

• Once uttered the words, "Sorry... Barry Manilow saved my club," (with a straight face) as an honest explanation
  

So, did this really help you to better grasp who I am? Probably not... but I hope it made you laugh. Or, at the least, smirk.

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